33 Apocalypse Ave, Saturday Morning

[spin_kick_snap]

For a moment after her alarm went off, Kathy had no idea why she'd even set it. It was the weekend, she had neither work nor class today, she could sleep late if she wanted to. And, slapping blearily at her beeping phone, Kathy very much wanted to. She was warm, lying in a tangle of bodies, still more than a little tired from the night before, which had included a much better resolution that last year's prom.

Oh. Right. Prom. The wheels in her brain started to slowly turn as she put two and two together. Alarm. Unlocked front door. Day after prom. Yes.

"Get up," she said, poking at whoever was closest. "Kids are probably coming. C'mon, get up."

She wanted to be dressed and making breakfast by the time the inevitable horde descended on the house, dammit. But she wasn't going to be doing it alone.

"Get up or I swear I will send the first kid who shows up to come and wake you up proper."

Kathy that was just mean.

[Open to boyfriends, housemates, AU children of all varieties, and guests!]

Comments

[rebelseekspizza]

"Oh come onnnn," Dante muttered, attempting to bury his ears under Anders' arm. "They can wait."

[spin_kick_snap]

"I will arm them with pots and pans and a spoon and tell them to make as much noise as they want."

If they had little kids this year, they'd do it because it seemed fun. If they had teenagers again, they'd do it out of spite.

[rebelseekspizza]

"Just lock the door, we got a whole house for them to do shit in," Dante muttered.

[spin_kick_snap]

"Because one of your kids couldn't pick a lock," Kathy snorted, poking him again. "You get up or I will fetch the water bottle we use on the cats."

Kathy's logic was simple: if she had to be awake to deal with the children, they all did.

[not_every_mage]

"What he said," Anders agreed, curling deeper under the covers. "Let 'em go feral."

[rebelseekspizza]

"Listen to the smart guy," Dante said, pointing vaguely in Anders' general direction. "Mm."

[tigerundercover]

One of the bonuses of spending most nights in the preserve was that even when you forgot what day it was, you still got a heads up via the portal dumping a bunch of tiny people off.

So she here she was, first thing in the morning, excited to meet Kathy's inevitable pile of adorable moppets.

"Any kids show up yet? I'm betting this year you get . . . six of them."

[not_every_mage]

"Bite your tongue," Anders said sternly, hair still disheveled as he plodded into the living room. "Maybe we decided to live a child-free lifestyle."

He could always hope!

[tigerundercover]

"Sure, that totally sounds like a thing you guys would do," Raven said. "I mean, the whole theory is that in alternate universes any improbable thing can happen, right?"

[bouncingpowerbrats]

That hope was swiftly put down as a random child wandered into the living room, zeroed in on Anders, and plopped down next to him. "When's breakfast?" he asked.

[spin_kick_snap]

"That's just rude," Kathy said, cutting up fruit. She figured getting the kids to eat vegetables was probably a losing battle, but she might get away with fruit inside pancakes if she was liberal enough with the syrup.

...And that was just for dealing with the so-called adults in the house.

"Maybe this year Fandom will give you all the kids and and then I'll just be able to sit back and laugh."

[tigerundercover]

". . . How would pregnancy even work on me?" Raven wondered. "I mean, would I be stuck always shifting into a pregnant whatever?"

[rebelseekspizza]

"Should've brought more drinks," Dante muttered, ambling into the room after everyone else.

[tigerundercover]

"For you or for the kids?"

[not_every_mage]

"I'm still worn out from last night," Anders protested, letting his hands drift over whoever was closest. "Tell the kids to come back Sunday."

[spin_kick_snap]

Okay, Anders' hands on her was a really compelling argument to stay in bed, but Kathy's whole mantra for the last week was I am an adult, I can control myself.

It was a hateful and stupid mantra, but it worked.

"How many children have you ever had that that would work on?" she asked.

[not_every_mage]

Anders thought about it.

"... none," he said. "I think the other me tells them to be extra-persistent if this ever happens."

He hated his other self a little right then.

[bouncingpowerbrats]

As much fun as it was being 'Surprise, we exist!' to people, the twins were their parents' children and strawberry pancakes with whipped cream was a way better enticement for them than talking to grownups who weren't entirely sure how to respond to them.

"This is weird," Imogene murmured to her brother.

"I know," Tristan whispered back.

"Pancakes are good, though."

[spin_kick_snap]

After everyone else had been fed breakfast, Kathy finally put together a pancake plate for herself and came over to sit down next to the children she hadn't met yet, too busy having uncomfortable talks with Raven.

"Hi," she said softly, giving them a small smile. "It's been kind of a hectic morning, huh?"

Hard to know what to say to these mini strangers who had shown up wearing the stamp of her features on their face. But the last thing Kathy wanted was for any child of hers to feel unwanted, even for the duration of a very strange weekend.

[bouncingpowerbrats]

The twins exchanged a long glance and then looked back at her. "Yeah," Tristan agreed. "It's usually quieter at our house. The dads aren't usually awake in time for breakfast."

[janiesgotguns]

Janie had, like a logical child, gone to the dorms initially in search of her parents. Not finding either parent had caused a little bitty bit of a panic attack, but once she'd calmed down, she'd just... let herself wander. Kinda. Something. Sometimes, when she was quiet, she just kinda...knew. Where Dante was.

Being Janie, she just let herself in, though she was shooting wary glances at any of the strange kids she didn't know and tugging her hoodie sleeve down over her hand any time it inched up.

She was used to a lot of very very weird people. Just not necessarily all these weird people at one time in one place.

[rebelseekspizza]

"Janie!"

Dante hadn't spotted her in all the chaos - not before - but fuck it if he wasn't sweeping her up off the floor from behind. Oops?

[janiesgotguns]

Janie shrieked with joy as he scooped her up. "I found you!," she crowed, forgetting to care there were other people around. "Hi hi hi hi!"

[spin_kick_snap]

Kathy was keeping an eye out for small children this morning, even while making pancakes for the never-full stomachs of the people already here. She was already heading over to greet the little girl when she realized who she was looking at.

Janie. She didn't think she'd ever met her, but she'd gotten a video from her a few years back. Right as everything had gone to hell. Kathy had watched it so many times those last few, nightmarish days, committing every millimeter of their tiny faces to memory, including the face of the little girl who sent it.

It was the last video she'd watched before she'd sent the last video of her own.

She wanted to kneel down and hug Janie, but she saw how wary she was around so many new people, wasn't even sure if the girl knew who she was, beyond a name in a phone. So instead she just smiled and said, "Hi. Janie, right? I'm making strawberry pancakes if you're hungry, and there's a spot next to your dad where you can sit."

[janiesgotguns]

"I'm Janie," Janie confirmed, looking up at Kathy with big, shrewd, analyzing eyes. "And you're Kathy."

Context clues, and all that.