33 Apocalypse Ave, Saturday Morning

[spin_kick_snap]

For a moment after her alarm went off, Kathy had no idea why she'd even set it. It was the weekend, she had neither work nor class today, she could sleep late if she wanted to. And, slapping blearily at her beeping phone, Kathy very much wanted to. She was warm, lying in a tangle of bodies, still more than a little tired from the night before, which had included a much better resolution that last year's prom.

Oh. Right. Prom. The wheels in her brain started to slowly turn as she put two and two together. Alarm. Unlocked front door. Day after prom. Yes.

"Get up," she said, poking at whoever was closest. "Kids are probably coming. C'mon, get up."

She wanted to be dressed and making breakfast by the time the inevitable horde descended on the house, dammit. But she wasn't going to be doing it alone.

"Get up or I swear I will send the first kid who shows up to come and wake you up proper."

Kathy that was just mean.

[Open to boyfriends, housemates, AU children of all varieties, and guests!]

Comments

[rebelseekspizza]

"Oh come onnnn," Dante muttered, attempting to bury his ears under Anders' arm. "They can wait."

[spin_kick_snap]

"I will arm them with pots and pans and a spoon and tell them to make as much noise as they want."

If they had little kids this year, they'd do it because it seemed fun. If they had teenagers again, they'd do it out of spite.

[tigerundercover]

One of the bonuses of spending most nights in the preserve was that even when you forgot what day it was, you still got a heads up via the portal dumping a bunch of tiny people off.

So she here she was, first thing in the morning, excited to meet Kathy's inevitable pile of adorable moppets.

"Any kids show up yet? I'm betting this year you get . . . six of them."

[not_every_mage]

"What he said," Anders agreed, curling deeper under the covers. "Let 'em go feral."

[not_every_mage]

"Bite your tongue," Anders said sternly, hair still disheveled as he plodded into the living room. "Maybe we decided to live a child-free lifestyle."

He could always hope!

[spin_kick_snap]

"That's just rude," Kathy said, cutting up fruit. She figured getting the kids to eat vegetables was probably a losing battle, but she might get away with fruit inside pancakes if she was liberal enough with the syrup.

...And that was just for dealing with the so-called adults in the house.

"Maybe this year Fandom will give you all the kids and and then I'll just be able to sit back and laugh."

[not_every_mage]

"I'm still worn out from last night," Anders protested, letting his hands drift over whoever was closest. "Tell the kids to come back Sunday."

[rebelseekspizza]

"Just lock the door, we got a whole house for them to do shit in," Dante muttered.

[rebelseekspizza]

"Listen to the smart guy," Dante said, pointing vaguely in Anders' general direction. "Mm."

[rebelseekspizza]

"Should've brought more drinks," Dante muttered, ambling into the room after everyone else.

[spin_kick_snap]

"Because one of your kids couldn't pick a lock," Kathy snorted, poking him again. "You get up or I will fetch the water bottle we use on the cats."

Kathy's logic was simple: if she had to be awake to deal with the children, they all did.

[tigerundercover]

"Sure, that totally sounds like a thing you guys would do," Raven said. "I mean, the whole theory is that in alternate universes any improbable thing can happen, right?"

[not_every_mage]

"I'm a genius when I'm half-asleep," Anders announced, and yawned, and gave Dante's ass a friendly squeeze of thanks.

[spin_kick_snap]

Okay, Anders' hands on her was a really compelling argument to stay in bed, but Kathy's whole mantra for the last week was I am an adult, I can control myself.

It was a hateful and stupid mantra, but it worked.

"How many children have you ever had that that would work on?" she asked.

[tigerundercover]

". . . How would pregnancy even work on me?" Raven wondered. "I mean, would I be stuck always shifting into a pregnant whatever?"

[tigerundercover]

"For you or for the kids?"

[rebelseekspizza]

"You wouldn't," Dante said, voice muffled.

[rebelseekspizza]

"'s true, you are," Dante said, tucking his face into Anders' neck.

[rebelseekspizza]

"Why not both?"

[not_every_mage]

Anders snorted a laugh. "Maybe one of them will be named after their Auntie Raven," he offered.

[spin_kick_snap]

"Try me," Kathy said.

She wasn't exactly pulling out full-on Christmas Kathy, but the potential was there.

[not_every_mage]

Anders thought about it.

"... none," he said. "I think the other me tells them to be extra-persistent if this ever happens."

He hated his other self a little right then.

[spin_kick_snap]

Kathy turned around and shrugged. "Imagine how much fun it was for you to find out," she teased. "Or maybe you can shapeshift enough to be a viable dad. Who knows?"

[momsnotdead]

Which was, of course, when the first child came running through the house and into the kitchen. "Mom!" he exclaimed, grinning. "You're making breakfast! Yessss!"

[tigerundercover]

"You make such a wonderful father, Dante."