33 Apocalypse Ave, Saturday Morning

[spin_kick_snap]

For a moment after her alarm went off, Kathy had no idea why she'd even set it. It was the weekend, she had neither work nor class today, she could sleep late if she wanted to. And, slapping blearily at her beeping phone, Kathy very much wanted to. She was warm, lying in a tangle of bodies, still more than a little tired from the night before, which had included a much better resolution that last year's prom.

Oh. Right. Prom. The wheels in her brain started to slowly turn as she put two and two together. Alarm. Unlocked front door. Day after prom. Yes.

"Get up," she said, poking at whoever was closest. "Kids are probably coming. C'mon, get up."

She wanted to be dressed and making breakfast by the time the inevitable horde descended on the house, dammit. But she wasn't going to be doing it alone.

"Get up or I swear I will send the first kid who shows up to come and wake you up proper."

Kathy that was just mean.

[Open to boyfriends, housemates, AU children of all varieties, and guests!]

Comments

[spin_kick_snap]

"That's just rude," Kathy said, cutting up fruit. She figured getting the kids to eat vegetables was probably a losing battle, but she might get away with fruit inside pancakes if she was liberal enough with the syrup.

...And that was just for dealing with the so-called adults in the house.

"Maybe this year Fandom will give you all the kids and and then I'll just be able to sit back and laugh."

[tigerundercover]

". . . How would pregnancy even work on me?" Raven wondered. "I mean, would I be stuck always shifting into a pregnant whatever?"

[spin_kick_snap]

Kathy turned around and shrugged. "Imagine how much fun it was for you to find out," she teased. "Or maybe you can shapeshift enough to be a viable dad. Who knows?"

[momsnotdead]

Which was, of course, when the first child came running through the house and into the kitchen. "Mom!" he exclaimed, grinning. "You're making breakfast! Yessss!"

[spin_kick_snap]

Kathy sighed. So it began. "I am," she said. "And you have to eat something healthy before you start--"

[momsnotdead]

"--asking for any kind of snacks or unhealthy foods," Aidan said along with her, matching Kathy's cadence perfectly. "Yeah, eomma, I know."

[spin_kick_snap]

Kathy sighed. "I'd like it so much better if you kids didn't show up and make me sound like a caricature of myself every year."

[momsnotdead]

"Well, eomma, have you tried being..."

[spin_kick_snap]

"...Not such a caricature of myself?" Kathy finished with a sigh. "Not yet, but hope springs eternal. All right then, what's your name, sweetheart?"

[momsnotdead]

"Aidan," he replied. "Aidan Eliot. But only because Mom wanted to have my middle name be Danger and you put your foot down."

[spin_kick_snap]

"I stand by this decision," Kathy said, nodding.

[tigerundercover]

Raven blinked, then frowned, looking thoughtful.

". . . Okay, now I kind of want to try that."

[momsnotdead]

And after properly greeting one mom, it was on to the next.

"But why?" Aidan asked, leaning in to give Raven a hug. "You can't improve on the perfection you already have." He grinned at her, Kathy's dimples on a much smaller face. "Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii ma."

[tigerundercover]

"Hang on. Are we claiming I'm perfect, or you are?" Raven asked.

Then her brain caught up with her.

"Um. Hi . . . smallish child."

[momsnotdead]

"Clearly me," Aidan said with a grin, this one pure Raven. "Hi Mother."

The troll was inherited from both sides.

[tigerundercover]

"Nuh uh," Raven said. Look, this wasn't a usual thing for her! Normally she just watched while other people had mysterious future children! "I mean, you're clearly one of Kathy's, but -- nuh uh!"

[momsnotdead]

"Mom's real eloquent in the mornings, isn't she?" Aidan called to eomma.

If he was looking for an ally though, he was sadly disappointed. Kathy was still looking pretty shellshocked herself.

"C'mon you two," he said, looking from one face to the other, confused. "What's gotten into you?"

[tigerundercover]

And now Raven felt bad. "You time traveled," she said, going for the easiest of all answers. "We actually haven't met yet. You're -- are you from Fandom?"

That would probably make explanations way easier.

[momsnotdead]

"Yeah," Aidan said, because 'time traveled' made a lot of sense, what with the portal and all. Especially for someone who was raised on Fandom. "We just live above Grandpa's restaurant. Eomma says Fandom's the only place that gives you enough room to roam in the woods when you need to while still having civilization enough for her.."

[tigerundercover]

"That . . . yeah, that sounds about right," Raven had to admit. "Grandpa -- that's Eliot, right? Because Hardison and I never -- I mean, I love him to bits, but he's not really -- he has a restaurant so it has to be Eliot." She shook her head. "Don't mind me, kid, my brain's kind of exploding."

[momsnotdead]

"But why?" Aidan asked, sitting down on the very edge of the table. It didn't even shift under his weight. "I mean, you're here. Eomma's here. I'm here, just a little bit early."

He grinned at her. "Oh, I get it. You just never expected to have a kid this handsome and charming."

Kathy exchanged a look with Raven. "Noooo," she said, a little awkwardly. "That's, umm, not the part I think we're confused by."

[tigerundercover]

"I mean, that is technically true," Raven pointed out. "Since I never expected to have any kids at all." She shook her head. "Your mom and I are friends. Really really good friends, but still. I stopped crushing on her ages ago."

[momsnotdead]

Aidan burst out laughing.

And then slowly trailed off laughing when he realized that no one was laughing with him.

"Wait, really?"

[spin_kick_snap]

Kathy looked apologetic but nodded. "Your--Raven is my dearest friend in the whole world and without her I'd be..." eating someone's face right now, probably "...lost, but we're not like that."

[tigerundercover]

Raven nodded. "I mean, your mom's super hot, but she's not into girls. Or me as a boy, I guess."