Apartment Above Lukes, Tuesday Evening
Jun. 20th, 2017 04:00 pmSo, technically, Kathy's plan was to make tacos for dinner, but no one would know that from the state of the kitchen. She'd decided to make homemade guacamole (because what were tacos other than tasty vehicles for guac?) and now all the taco fixings were kind of pushed off to one side while she finished mashing up the avocados and chopping the cilantro and prepping the other stuff.
And texting Dante, because making tacos was the perfect opportunity for jokes, right? Especially with her shoulder still a little red from Pride?
Looking forward to putting all the tacos into my face tonight, she said, continuing their lazy conversation. No more sausage for me, but tacos are always the way to my...heart.
And texting Dante, because making tacos was the perfect opportunity for jokes, right? Especially with her shoulder still a little red from Pride?
Looking forward to putting all the tacos into my face tonight, she said, continuing their lazy conversation. No more sausage for me, but tacos are always the way to my...heart.
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Date: 2017-06-22 01:29 pm (UTC)Did it sound arrogant, saying you weren't a tinpot dictator? Dante just couldn't figure it out.
"But like you said, you react to me like that sometimes. I noticed."
He shrugged, picking at his taco. Emotional conversation or no, he was hungry, damn it. "Look, I'm not gonna lie this wasn't touch and go for a while," he said. "But I feel like we're hitting a good groove these days. No?"
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Date: 2017-06-22 01:55 pm (UTC)"I don't know," Kathy said. "That's the whole problem. I...I think so? But I can't trust that. How much is true and how much am I just reading what I want to read into it? How stable is that good space? What if we fight or I make you mad? Will you pull away again because we argued? Is it okay for me to even ask these questions or am I being selfish and expectant again for want to...like...control how we interact and not push you away?"
She looked at him, a little helpless. "I don't know, Dante. I just don't."
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Date: 2017-06-22 02:42 pm (UTC)He put the food back down.
"You don't," he agreed. "I don't either. Just like I don't know where the hell the Anders thing is going. It's just gonna be what it's gonna be."
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Date: 2017-06-22 04:04 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2017-06-22 04:22 pm (UTC)He pulled at the label on his beer. "But you know me, I'm shit at looking at tomorrow. If I wasn't, I probably wouldn't be here. I'd have bailed on you and Anders five seconds after walking into this place."
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Date: 2017-06-22 05:19 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2017-06-22 05:21 pm (UTC)Because he had no idea.
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Date: 2017-06-22 05:38 pm (UTC)She took a long sip of her drink. "Mostly, I just don't want to be left behind."
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Date: 2017-06-22 05:49 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2017-06-22 05:53 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2017-06-22 06:01 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2017-06-22 07:21 pm (UTC)Her drink wasn't giving her any great insights. Dammit drink, do your fucking job.
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Date: 2017-06-22 07:26 pm (UTC)He took a sip of his drink, hoping it'd help him understand Kathy's argument. It didn't.
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Date: 2017-06-22 07:38 pm (UTC)She should have grabbed that anyway. Tequila went with tacos better than rum did.
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Date: 2017-06-22 07:42 pm (UTC)He was under the distinct impression she needed the booze a whole lot more than he did, for once.
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Date: 2017-06-22 08:05 pm (UTC)"Okay, so...every trio can be broken down into three pairs. That's just math." She grabbed the salt and pepper shakers and a fork, quickly grouping them in groups of two to demonstrate. "You, me, and Anders." They were the shakers, she was the fork. Obvious metaphor was becoming even more obvious.
"Right now, we're more three different pairs than we are a group of three. And those pairs are on very different footing. You and Anders are a tight-knit team. Anders and I are okay, I think. I hope? You and I are...good?" And the way she looked at him then, it was clear she wasn't really sure. "But it's definitely not easy, yet."
She looked down at her collection of kitchenware and frowned. "Am I making any sense at all?"
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Date: 2017-06-22 08:07 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2017-06-22 08:22 pm (UTC)She looked down at the trio of items thoughtfully for a second, then pushed them away. "I'm not trying to say that I want anything particular," she said. "I know you don't feel for me they way you do about Anders and odds are good you never will. That's...that's okay. I still want to be part of the team, not on the outside of it looking in."
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Date: 2017-06-22 08:27 pm (UTC)He needed a few moments to collect his thoughts before he said anything else.
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Date: 2017-06-22 08:35 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2017-06-22 08:41 pm (UTC)He sipped his drink again. Still thinking, yep.
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Date: 2017-06-22 08:52 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2017-06-22 08:58 pm (UTC)And... there went the rest of his drink. Okay. Talking. Yes.
"You and me, though. I said it before, I don't know where it's going to go," he said slowly. "Sometimes I worry you're going to need something from me I can't give. Like, Anders? I didn't see that coming until it hit me like a freight train. Even though it might've even started before you died."
He eyed the remains of his drink. "You ask me now, are we gonna be that close, like, ever? I'm gonna say no. Everything in me does. But I would've been the same if you'd asked me that question about him back in June last year. You know?"
Did she? He searched her expression.
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Date: 2017-06-22 09:11 pm (UTC)She could be, one day, but that was why she'd put up the walls around her heart. To stop that nonsense before it started and ruined everything between them.
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Date: 2017-06-22 09:17 pm (UTC)Those couple of words sounded a lot like wringing moisture from a stone.
"I feel a lot of things," he said, "And a big part of that's just because it is what it is. Didn't come with expectations or wanting or needing or asking questions about whether this is good or that's good, or..." He trailed off.
"It was always about today," he settled on. "I don't know how to do this with tomorrow hanging over my head, Kathy, and you've always been about tomorrow."
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