Apartment Above Luke's, Thursday Afternoon

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Kathy was sitting crosslegged in her living room, surrounded by a truly staggering number of anatomically-shaped lollipops, hard candies, and other confections. It turned out that the company that had supplied Dite's with chocolates and candy had gone out of business and multiple other companies had sent samples to the store in hopes of scoring the contract. Kathy...wasn't sure what it said about the store or the island that it was considered a lucrative enough market for a number of stores to go to this much trouble.

But, she was determined to be a good manager and if that meant spending the afternoon trying a ridiculous amount of sexy candy to decide which she liked best, well, she was up to the task. As long as she took breaks for real food every few hours, she should be okay, right? And she had a pen and paper to record her observations (and had come up with several criteria to judge them on), making this all legit and aboveboard and not just an excuse to gorge out on penis-shaped candy all day.

So far, she'd noticed that the sour gummy boobs made the cut on her lip burn and the mold for one of the companies tended to make their chocolates look more like melted candles than anything sexy. Oh, and another company used cheap chocolate that tended to flake off which was just NOT attractive in something meant to simulate body parts. It was this kind of attention to detail that separated the good managers from the mediocre, see?

[Open! But probably slow as I'm still in training, so who knows what my schedule will be when this finally posts. Link to Anders' thread.]

Comments

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"Well, everyone knows middling vodka and cheap candy pair beautifully," Kathy laughed, holding the hem of her shirt to keep the candy from falling out as she stood up. "So it's all good."

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"Cool," Dante started.

Only with the giant bottle of vodka gone could he get a good look at Kathy's face.

"Okay, the fuck happened to you?"

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Kathy winced, brushing her hand over her cheek. "Fight," she admitted. "When I went out to Baltimore last week. Wasn't being a hero." Because that needed to be clarified and fast. "It just sorta happened." She sighed and was grateful for the vodka. "Ran into Jewels, too. It was all kinds of awkward."

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"... Yeaaah," Dante said.

He was just gonna... go walk to the kitchen and get some glasses. Yes.

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"It's the middle of the afternoon!" Kathy protested. "...So grab some juice from the fridge, too? There's some strawberry-kiwi."

It didn't count as daytime drinking if there were mixers involved.

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"I could just get ice cubes," Dante called, poking around the fridge. "That makes it like, a refreshment!"

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"What's wrong with juice?" Kathy asked. "I mean, besides the fact that it's healthy!"

Nothing with that much added sugar is healthy, Kathy.

"I'd rather change the flavor of my drink than water it down."

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"Then you might as well drink it straight," Dante called back. "Unless you've got something strawberry that doesn't have fuckin' kiwi in it."

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"...There might be some strawberry-raspberry left?" Kathy said, wandering into the kitchen area to poke around in the fridge. "Cranberry...grape..."

Look, she was drinking a lot of smoothies lately. They were less problematic than a lot of food. Shut up.

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"Why can't you just buy straight-up strawberry?" Dante complained, reaching out to snag the strawberry-raspberry.

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"Because I inexplicably didn't go shopping with you in mind," Kathy said with a sad shake of her head. "Personal failing, I know."

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"Fix that next time," Dante said, pointing at her with the bottle. "Now let's get hammered and we can forget about you getting punched in the face by Jewels or whatever."

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"She didn't punch me, the guy stealing her purse did," Kathy corrected. "She called me Banzai and I told her she was wrong, then did the brave thing and ran away."

Yeah, she was going to need that drink.

"You can help me choose the best dick pops of the group, too."

Much better way to spend the day, yes.

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"You have dick pops?" Dante asked, frowning at her.

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"...Yeah," Kathy said, running her fingers through her hair. "I kinda run Dite's now. And I need to make choices about which novelty candies we sell."

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"... You run Dite's? How the hell did that happen?" Dante asked, reaching for a cabinet. Glasses? No. Next one.

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"Because I was standing under the metal chicken statue when the last manager quit and threw her keys," Kathy said with a what-can-you-do-Fandom shrug. "I picked them up, figured I'd lock up or something, and then realized that working at Dite's wasn't the worst gig I could have on the island."

As opposed to, say, slinging drinks at the bar with the ex-band or having a panic attack every time she had to unload The Shambling Dead inventory or whatever

"One more to your left."

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"Got it," Dante said, producing some highball glasses. "So... Kathy Li, Queen of Sex Toys, huh?"

That wasn't potentially awkward at all.

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Kathy was doing an excellent job of not thinking about how awkward it could potentially be, thank you.

"Apparently so," she said, snagging the bottle of juice and heading back to the living room and her candy stash. "It's pretty much the title every girl aspires to, isn't it?"

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"Master of 'brators," Dante said, pottering after her. "Chief of condoms."

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"Duchess of dildos," Kathy returned, settling back into her spot in the midst of all sorts of naughty-themed candy. "Sultana of strap-ons."

She waved at Dante to take a seat. "Help yourself to any of this," she said. "Just let me know what you think of whatever you've eaten."

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"'If this was a real dick, I'd tell 'em to go to the doctor'?" Dante offered, picking something up.

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"...I think that was a batch error," Kathy said, looking at it and snickering. "I can probably mark them under no, but you should still try it. It could be delicious!"

Even if it looked a little...yeah.

"So what's new with you?" she asked, cracking open the bottle of vodka. "You up to anything exciting since break?"

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"Killed a Succubus yesterday," Dante said, dropping the fake dick.

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"You--what? The soda succubus? That thing?" Kathy asked. "What happened?"