Apartment Above Luke's, Thursday Afternoon

[spin_kick_snap]

Kathy was sitting crosslegged in her living room, surrounded by a truly staggering number of anatomically-shaped lollipops, hard candies, and other confections. It turned out that the company that had supplied Dite's with chocolates and candy had gone out of business and multiple other companies had sent samples to the store in hopes of scoring the contract. Kathy...wasn't sure what it said about the store or the island that it was considered a lucrative enough market for a number of stores to go to this much trouble.

But, she was determined to be a good manager and if that meant spending the afternoon trying a ridiculous amount of sexy candy to decide which she liked best, well, she was up to the task. As long as she took breaks for real food every few hours, she should be okay, right? And she had a pen and paper to record her observations (and had come up with several criteria to judge them on), making this all legit and aboveboard and not just an excuse to gorge out on penis-shaped candy all day.

So far, she'd noticed that the sour gummy boobs made the cut on her lip burn and the mold for one of the companies tended to make their chocolates look more like melted candles than anything sexy. Oh, and another company used cheap chocolate that tended to flake off which was just NOT attractive in something meant to simulate body parts. It was this kind of attention to detail that separated the good managers from the mediocre, see?

[Open! But probably slow as I'm still in training, so who knows what my schedule will be when this finally posts. Link to Anders' thread.]

Comments

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"I don't know," Dante admitted. "Don't really wanna knock Isabela or Ada or whoever up to check, though."

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"No, that's definitely a full-on failure mode," Kathy agreed. "I just wasn't sure if Vergil knew for sure. Better safe than sorry."

She dredged up a smile for him. "Still not giving you free condoms on command, Dante."

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Dante sighed loudly. "It was worth a shot," he said. "What's the point of knowing somebody who owns a sex shop otherwise?"

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"Because we offer the very best presents," Kathy told him. "And I did specify on demand. You're welcome."

[rebelseekspizza]

"So am I gonna wake up and find that Kathy the Condom Fairy showered me in the middle of the night?"

There were probably a lot of reasons Dante shouldn't be making dirty jokes about Kathy, but finding out what he was hadn't fixed much about his impulse control.

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"If you're really lucky, you'll wake up before I'm done," Kathy said archly, and knocked back her drink. If she was going to make dirty jokes with Dante, she needed some liquid courage.

Damn, how much ground had she lost?

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A lot. Both of them had. Dante, for his part, was only just starting to register her as attractive again.

"Condom fairy's hoping to work her way up to orgasm fairy, huh," he joked.

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Just catching up on how fearless she'd been once upon a time would take effort to get back.

"It's the natural progression of things," Kathy declared. Still drinking. "If I can prove I'm a good condom fairy, I go into a latex chrysalis and come out bestowing orgasms and sex toys to all."

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"Awww," Dante said, reaching to refill his glass with vodka. After a moment's consideration, he snagged the juice too, for a mixer. "Fairy Li, doing the good work."

[spin_kick_snap]

See? She told him the juice was a good idea!

"Every time a girl comes, Kathy gets her..." It was possible Kathy hadn't thought this rhyme out. "...self some?"

[rebelseekspizza]

"Freak on?" Dante offered, grinning.

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"You just keep hoping that one day I'll discover my pansexual side, don't you?"

[rebelseekspizza]

"We have more fun," Dante said merrily.

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"And more people to have fun with," Kathy agreed. "Just gotta meet a girl who gets me going, I guess."

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"Isabela almost managed, didn't she?"

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"Isabela is completely unfair," Kathy objected. "She is an avatar of sex and is not bound by laws of us mere mortals."

So...yes. Absolutely.

[rebelseekspizza]

Dante grinned. "So what you're saying is I should lock you up in an apartment with her soon?"

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"Somehow I doubt Isabela has been pining for the lost opportunity to seduce a straight girl," Kathy said, going for dismissive but far too pink to pull it off.

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"Oh please," Dante said, snickering. "She'd eat that shit up."

Pun totally intended.

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Like Kathy had ever doubted.

"It would be a disappointing evening if she didn't," Kathy agreed, still pink.

If anyone asked, she was going to blame it on the booze. Speaking of, yes please!

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"And Iz doesn't like to disappoint," Dante said.

He wasn't laughing at her, but he kind of sounded like it.

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"True, but I'm a little intimidated by the things she does like," Kathy said, pretty sure Dante was laughing at her. "Spiders with sex venom, for example."

Because Kathy and her secret Tumblr had room to talk about Isabela's friend-fiction. EXCEPT HERS HAD NEVER FEATURED SEX SPIDERS.

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Yeah, now Dante had to laugh out loud. "You wrote friend fiction too!" he pointed out. "That's not bad?"

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"Mine didn't have spiders!" Kathy protested. "...Oh, and, uhh you can't prove that any of the characters I wrote about have real world counterparts."

There might have been a reason that argument sounded like an afterthought. Mostly because it was.

[rebelseekspizza]

"It was totally about us," Dante said.

Come on, Kathy.