The Luckiest Girl In The World

"So how do you know this guy again?" Dante asked, leaning against the counter.

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"Dante!" Kathy said in totally not at all a panicked wail, "I told you this! One of my oldest and best friends? I was on his Ethics Committee? Made my Banzai suit and the gray one? And the grappling gun that saved my life in the tower? It was his warehouse I kinda took over!"

Okay spinning Kathy up was a very easy sport, Dante.

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Kathy was going to hit him so hard when he finally admitted he'd already met Barry, wasn't she?

"Sorry, sorry," Dante said, grinning. "Forgot my flash cards."

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So hard.

"If I thought there was any chance in hell you'd've studied them, I would have made you flash cards."

Translation: I would have given you the flashcards I did make and then realized were over the top, even for me.

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Dante chuckled. "Food almost good?" he checked.

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"The meat is almost done," Kathy said, pulling up the lid to release the fragrant scent of cooking beef and spices. "I wanted to make sure it wouldn't dry out while trying to keep it warm."

There was a whole timeline for when she was cooking things. A timeline. Down to the minute.

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There was a flash of light outside the door and suddenly there was a Ween stepping out of a portal.

A Barry Ween. Get your head out of the gutter.

He was dressed in his usual t-shirt and jeans and carrying a bag of goods from J'GOB.

He knocked on the door because that's what you do, right?

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Nobody in this house ever got their head out of the gutter, Ween. Nobody.

"And there we go," Dante said, sauntering towards the door.

Did he expect her to stop him? Yeah.

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"Dante, no!" Kathy said, using her speed to try to lunge past him for the door. "You can't just open it!"

...It made sense. In her head. There was an order to these things!

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"Jesus fucking Christ, that's what doors are for!" Barry shouted impatiently from the other side.

Yes, I modded your door is thin and easily heard through.

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"You heard the guy," Dante said, shooting her a look that read jeez.

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Kathy glared at Dante and then went to open the door, giving Barry a bright smile. "Hi, Barry!" she said. "Come in! We're so glad you could make it!"

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Barry's irritation went away as soon as the door was opened. "Hi! How did you know it was me?" He joked and then held up the bag. "I made a stop at J'GOB for strawberry starts and shortcake. Hope that's all right."

He then tilted his head and gave Dante a slight evaluation. Almost like he was checking him out.

"So. You're Dante."

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Dante raised his chin. "And you're Barry," he said. "Seems kinda scrawny to me. You sure it's him, Kat?"

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"Dante!" Kathy sputtered.

Why were you both like this?

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Because it's fun Kathy!

"Scrawny?" Barry said puffing up his chest a bit. "What the hell? Just because I'm a super human weirdo I'm scrawny?"

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"Lil' scrawny," Dante said, and fuck, he was gonna have a hard time keeping his face straight if you did that, Barry. "I mean, you're some kinda nerd, right?"

Yeah, he was five seconds from breaking character and giving you a bro-shake and a bro-hug, Barry.

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Kathy's whole face was a mask of horror as she watched the interplay with them.

"Wh-what? Wait, no--!" Kathy tried to wave her arms to bring their attention to her and to reset this whole meeting.

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It was the flailing arms that did. Barry cracked and began laughing. "Sorry, man, I couldn't hold it in any longer," he said going to Dante for a handshake.

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Dante laughed, shook Barry's hand, fistbumped him, and then yanked him in for a bro-hug. "Nah, I'm right there," he said. "Good to see you again, man."

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Whoa! Okay. They were hugging. It's cool. It's cool. Barry did his best back bro-hug-thump thing.

"Good to see you, too," he replied and gave Kathy an apologetic look. "Sorry Kathy! We decided to pre-empt the crazy plan you had to make us meet nicely."

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BETRAYAL!

She was just looking back and forth between the two of them, somewhere between grateful and appalled.

"You sons of bitches," she gasped. "You were playing me?"

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Dante laughed again as he pulled back, grinning at her, unrepentant.

"I knew you were gonna be fucking weird about this," he said, "So I went to meet Barry at Dite's like a month ago."

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"See? Really he was looking out for your mental health," Barry reasoned. "After we mess with you of course."

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