Il Pollo, Saturday Afternoon

[spin_kick_snap]

When it came to picking out a restaurant, Kathy'd had three restrictions: it couldn't be pizza or ice cream, it had to be fancy enough that Dan--that most people wouldn't bother with, especially on a casual Saturday afternoon, and it couldn't be so fancy that it would feel out of place and weird to be at. And so, she'd ended up eyeing the collections of restaurants on Jones and Serendipity...and if they just happened to be completely across the island from any pizza joints, ice cream shops, or liquor stores, so much the better. In the end, she'd settled on Il Pollo, figuring that that little extra flare of having the name be in Italian would be the most potent deterrent of anything on the street.

How dare you accuse Kathy Li of overthinking things? This was a perfectly normal level of preparation--at least, it was if you were meeting up with your ex-boyfriend (always ex-boyfriend, never just ex, never ever)'s dead mother for lunch.

And now she just had to finish giving herself a silent little peptalk to remind herself of the restrictions she'd placed on herself for lunch: no asking. No angling. No casually leading comments. If Eva decided to bring up certain topics of conversation, that was one thing, but Kathy certainly wouldn't be.

No reason to pull Eva into the middle of this. Not that there was a 'this' to be in the middle of.

...And also, she could admit to herself, it was pride. She knew better to think that Dante would be asking his mother anything about her this afternoon, and wouldn't even need a series of ridiculous rules about it.

[For the lady mentioned, if she'd be so kind!]

Comments

[an_angel_scorned]

Time with Dante had been-- well, Eva wouldn't say any time spent with one of her sons was ever wasted, but he was frustratingly elusive, dodging and weaving past even direct questions. (It reminded her, at times, uncomfortably much of his father.)

She'd given up, eventually. It had been... nicer, after that.

But she had promised someone else her time and attention. She hadn't told him who, and he hadn't asked; she had a feeling he knew.

When she entered, the staff's attention shot away from anything they'd been focused on. For a moment, all anyone could see was the angel at the door-- and then the angel at the door smiled wryly, strode in with easy, elegant steps, and it was like the spell broke.

"Hello, Kathy," she said, as she pulled up a chair, that wry smile still on her face.

[spin_kick_snap]

Time with one of her sons was never wasted? They'd have to agree to disagree on that one. Sorry, Eva, but Vergil sucked. Just like, so much.

"Hello, Eva," Kathy said, her own smile a bit wry as well. She hadn't been anymore immune to the way Eva had commanded their attention than the staff had been, and she'd realized that, yes, Dante had something of that power, too, just like he also had that same easy elegance in every move. "Welcome to Il Pollo. I figured you might be interested in having something other than strawberries and pizza."

By the side of her chair lay a big white dog, quiet and well-behaved, with a bowl of cold water.

[an_angel_scorned]

"And potato chips," Eva said dryly.

She looked down at the animal by Kathy's feet as she settled down, her body leaning towards the dog just-so. She didn't extend a hand, but her curiosity was palpable. "And who's this pretty boy?" she asked.

[spin_kick_snap]

"This is Ronin," she said, with a smile. At his name, Ronin picked up his head and looked around, then settled back when nothing further followed. "He rescued me from a pair of Rages once and I brought him home and adopted him." She could have left it there, would have for almost anyone else, but took a deep breath and forced herself to add, "And, after we saw how well he'd been trained, registered him as a service animal for me. Which is why he gets to be inside here."

[an_angel_scorned]

"So a very good boy," Eva said, smiling softly. "I should keep my hands to myself, then?"

[spin_kick_snap]

Kathy smiled and shook her head. "Ronan, rest."

Rather than settling even further, Ronin perked up, immediately getting to his feet to pad over to Eva and sniff her, tail wagging excitedly. Whoever this was, she smelled amazing, like all the best things in the world mixed up in one and it had been very hard to stay still and ignore her, but he was a Good Dog and persevered.

And now was being rewarded!

[an_angel_scorned]

Eva laughed. "Aw," she said. She reached out and scritched Ronin behind the ears, letting him smell all he liked.

"I thought about getting one for the boys when they were young," she said, a touch wistful. "But I was afraid they might wind up hurting it by accident."

[spin_kick_snap]

"I'd always wanted a dog, but the apartment I grew up in didn't allow pets and my dad wasn't a big fan of them, either," she said, trying to imagine a little Dante that was different than the one that she'd met. Though she could imagine how a little Dante would have felt, hurting something he loved by accid--

Never mind.

"And then when I came to the island for school, it just never even dawned on me that I could get one of my own if I wanted to." Of course, she'd figured that she'd be graduating and moving back to California to go to college, so that made sense, at least. "Don't know if it ever would have if this guy hadn't wasn't a hero."

[an_angel_scorned]

"I'm glad you two found each other," Eva said. She pulled her hand back slowly, allowing Ronin to sniff more if he wanted to. "That kind of bond is hard to break."

[spin_kick_snap]

Of course he wanted to! Her other hand smelled just as good!

"Yeah," she said, giving Ronin a smile. "He's been really good for me. I might have ended up some kind of crazy shut-in if I hadn't had him to help me get more comfortable being outside in Limbo City by myself."

[an_angel_scorned]

Eva nodded, straightening herself in her seat. She took Kathy in for a moment - the creases by her eyes, the emotional weather of her smile.

"And what does life look like now?" she asked.

[spin_kick_snap]

Oh, Eva, you would ask that.

"Well," she said, casually flipping through the menu. "I've got a cute little apartment that I'm renting now. I mean, kinda emphasis on the little, but Ronin and I don't take up much space. The neighborhood's good, too. There's a park to one side that I can take Ronin through to walk, and a nice coffeeshop a little ways down the road, and a mom and pop grocery store. I've got a month-to-month right now, but I'm debating a full, year-long lease. Got a job as a bartender. It's kinda preppy, a little bit hipster, but the people are really nice and the tips are good."

Saying it out loud made it sound so sad. Was her life really just an apartment, a neighborhood, and a bartending gig?

"Might join a book club soon." Nope. That sounded even worse. "My internet job is still going well, though I'm not really involved in the day-to-day anymore."

[an_angel_scorned]

"That sounds... nice."

Eva hadn't reached for the menu yet. Her eyes were on Kathy.

"Yet you seem unhappy."

[spin_kick_snap]

Her eyes dropped and she shrugged. "I'm still--adjusting," she said, trying for casual. "A lot of life changes in a very short amount of time."

Losing Anders...losing Dante...moving out...

"I have always wanted a place." Not to live, but to belong. "Thought I'd found it. Guess I didn't." She shrugged. "Now I'm starting over again and I realize that I've lost just about all my people. Now I have two of them back, but it's very hard to ignore the countdown over our heads, you know?"

[an_angel_scorned]

"Just because you lost it doesn't mean you didn't find it," Eva pointed out gently. "Life is, unfortunately, always in motion."

She hesitated.

"... But I'm sorry," she said. "I wish I could stay."

Not just for Kathy's sake. It was very clear her son needed someone.

[spin_kick_snap]

"I do, too," she said with a smile. "You and Sarah both. But I know I'm lucky getting to see you both at all, so it feels a little selfish to ask for more."

She could imagine it, though...becoming a guardian for Sarah, sending her off to school...They'd move away from Limbo City to somewhere safer. Maybe even here, where things could be horrible, but Sarah would have so many people willing to leap between her and danger...

Eva being there, to ask for advice, for hugs, to just be a mom to two girls without one...

Kathy resolutely turned her thoughts away from What Ifs that could never become more than that. "One of the good things about all the LA stuff," she said lightly. "I've got a helluva benchmark to compare things to, and yeah, it sucks right now, but I'll get through it okay. Got through a lot worse."

[an_angel_scorned]

The words came out before Eva could get a hold of them. "Now you sound like my son."

She pulled back into her seat. "Sorry," she said. "You didn't invite me here to talk about him."

[spin_kick_snap]

Kathy gave her a wan smile. "I mean, it's not like I stopped caring," she said softly. "And, you know, it's good know that he hasn't gotten caught in an avalanche of pizza boxes or anything." She laughed and if there was a small thread of pain in there, well, that was only to be expected, right?

"I guess picking up some things from one another was only to be expected. At least I didn't get his terrible taste in alcohol, right?"

Their waiter brought them breadrolls and took their drink orders, and Kathy busied herself buttering a roll for a moment. "I figured he might come up. He's your son. I promised myself I wouldn't ask about him or anything--I don't want you to feel like you're in the middle of this, and I do have some pride. But he's not persona non grata, either. Forbidding all mention of him is just silly."

And, in its own way, just as damning as pathetically asking after him.

"I can't pretend he's a neutral topic, but I'm trying to get there."

[an_angel_scorned]

Eva was careful and deliberate in the way she reached for her food. It had been a long time since she'd enjoyed any - and the time she had had been a rare episode in her life, spent away from the heaven she'd known.

She took a bite without butter as Kathy spoke, and then another with it, taking the time to let the taste settle. Salt. Wheat. Fat.

"I'm not sure anyone we've truly loved ever becomes a neutral topic," she mused, holding up the roll. "But no, he hasn't gotten caught in an avalanche. In as far as I've been able to get anything out of him about anything important."

[spin_kick_snap]

"Yeah, that was something that Anders was always--" This time, she couldn't suppress a wince. "Wait. Does that mean he hasn't told you about Anders?"

[an_angel_scorned]

Perhaps the way Eva looked away from her roll and towards Kathy with a clear sense of alarm communicated enough.

"What happened to Anders?"

[spin_kick_snap]

"We don't know," Kathy said, shaking her head. "He just...vanished, one day. Not quite three years ago? We searched, of course, but he was just gone without a trace."

She looked down at her roll again. "Everything else aside, I believe that if that changed, if there was some new lead, Dante would let me know."

[an_angel_scorned]

"He would," Eva agreed. "I don't doubt that for a second."

She pulled apart the last of her roll, thoughtful.

"That's a lot of loss in a very short time," she said, quieter. It applied to Kathy, of course, but her thoughts were elsewhere.

[spin_kick_snap]

"Certainly within my top three," Kathy said wryly, since she didn't know where (or, more specifically, towards whom) Eva's thoughts were trending. "First Anders then, roughly six, seven months later, there was a big, stupid fight and then it was over." She laughed, and there was a lot more than just a trace of pain in it now. "I don't even remember what it was about? It seemed to come out of nowhere. Isn't that always the way?"

[an_angel_scorned]

An odd look passed over Eva's face. Some... things slotting into place. And a question about where her loyalties should be in this conversation.

She reached out to touch Kathy's hand as she worked her way through it.

[spin_kick_snap]

Kathy just appreciated the offer of comfort.

"It's okay," she said. "I'm okay. It's been about two years. I've..." Moved on clearly wasn't the right term. "Processed."

She couldn't even blame Dante for it, not when she saw her culpability so clearly.

"Things don't always work out," she said, unaware that on the other side of the island, Dante was saying the same thing to her little sister.

[an_angel_scorned]

"Mhm."

Eva gave her hand a firm squeeze, and picked her next few words carefully. "Sometimes they don't," she agreed. "That doesn't mean anyone stops caring."

A delicate balance to maintain.

[spin_kick_snap]

A year ago, hell, maybe even just six months ago, that would have given Kathy some of that hope Dante was so afraid of her developing. Maybe he did still love her, maybe their relationship could be salvaged, maybe the success of their relationship wasn't pinned directly on Anders...

Maybe maybe maybe.

But, honestly, Kathy had made peace with things as they were, had put all her hopes and maybe's away.

Because even if Dante did still care about her, it clearly hadn't been enough. Not for him to stay.

But this was fully not a debate she wanted to get into with Eva, so she just nodded, and agreed, "It doesn't have to, no."

[an_angel_scorned]

It was, as always, much more complicated than that. But Eva wasn't here to push; the best she could do was leave a breadcrumb or two, and hope her son would find a way back to somewhere less miserable.

Someone came by with drinks before she could say anything else, which was probably for the best.

She picked up her glass. "Well, I'm glad you've... processed."

[spin_kick_snap]

"It's been two years," Kathy said wryly. "I'd be more worried if I hadn't." She took a sip of her soda. "It's not...easy, yet," she admitted. "I still wake up sometimes and have to figure out why my room feels wrong. I still sometimes put in the wrong pizza order--sometimes I catch it in time to adjust, other times I don't. Sometimes I'll spot things that I want to tell one or the other of them and then I realize that I can't--Still adjusting."

Christmas was particularly hard.

"But processing is a process. That's a lesson I've had to learn over and over again. Just as true for breakups as coming back from being a zombie."

[an_angel_scorned]

"What is it humans say? You need half the time a relationship lasted to get over it?"

Eva managed the wry smile of a woman who had definitely not gotten over her lost lover yet. Might never, really.

(She wanted to ask if he'd ever tried to reach out. If there was any kind of possibility of just talking, between them. But she didn't.)

[spin_kick_snap]

Of course he hadn't. Probably for the best.

"And we were together..." She laughed at that. "Oh, I'm going to need an abacus and some advanced math to figure out how long we were together."

Start in 2015, minus a year of being dead and, what how long had they been on the outs for...

"He's been an important part of my life for over a decade," she murmured. So, what? According to Eva's math, she had five years? Six? before she was over him? And even longer for Anders. "I'm both relieved and terrified at the thought of that."

[an_angel_scorned]

"Why?" Eva asked, lifting her glass.

She should probably move on to the topic, both for Kathy's sake and for the sake of her own desire to meddle.

[spin_kick_snap]

"Because it means that I'm not just...wallowing in sad, bitter ex energy right now," Kathy explained. "...But also that there's another three more years of this."

[an_angel_scorned]

"Well, you don't seem bitter," Eva said. She took a sip of her drink. "Tell me about some good things in your life?"

[spin_kick_snap]

"I've been doing some writing," she admitted, looking down at the table and flushing--though more with pride than embarrassment. "And drawing. A books for little kids about coping with scary things. I've got ideas for two or three more and I figured...why not? It's not like I don't have experience with that. Even if I never do anything more than write them, that's still something, you know?"

[an_angel_scorned]

"I think it's a really beautiful thought," Eva said, with a little smile. " What's the story?"

[spin_kick_snap]

"A little girl named Hana sees something terrible." Why yes, she would be a little Korean girl, how did Eva guess? "It makes her afraid, so she tries to pretend like it didn't happen. That helps for a bit? But then she starts filling up with all these bad feelings that don't have anywhere to go and she's worried that maybe she's turning into a monster. But she learns that talking about these feelings and actually letting herself feel and acknowledge them helps those horrible feelings go away and she's back to being a little girl again."

[an_angel_scorned]

The smile on Eva's face widened. A good, proud, happy thing, if you didn't pay attention to the sheen of something wistful in her eyes.

"A worthy lesson."

[spin_kick_snap]

"It took a long time and a lot of therapy," Kathy snorted. "The second one, is about a girl who learns about a terrible thing that happened that affected everyone she knows. She'd been encouraged to always look for the helpers in times of tragedy, and decides to become a helper. Unfortunately, her attempts to be a big helper don't go so well." Another one of those wry smiles surface. "So, instead, she decides to try to help in small ways. Ways that she's suited for. It doesn't take away the bad news, but it does make things a little bit easier for the people around her. And it shows that you don't have to do big, flashy, superhero things to help, there are plenty of ways to help."

[an_angel_scorned]

And the wistfulness was gone. Eva let out a small laugh. "And that one is speaking from experience," she said. "Though 'suited for'-- that's complicated language."

[spin_kick_snap]

"Oh yeah, I'm going to have to find a better way to phrase it, possibly something like, 'not ready' for or whatever," Kathy agreed. "Something that doesn't suggest an innate categorization, or like I'm trying make generalizations about people. I want to highlight that being a helper can take many different forms and and to not get fixated on the idea that helping looks like one specific thing."

[an_angel_scorned]

"Which is definitely an important lesson most of us take a lifetime to learn," Eva said wryly. She could remember her own struggle with staying at home, taking care of the children, while demons wreaked havoc everywhere else. "Just be careful you don't preach about the value of putting yourself in a box."

[spin_kick_snap]

"No," Kathy said. "Never that."

But boy was she going to have to go reflect on that later.

"Definitely more geared towards understanding that help comes in many forms, not just the big, flashy ones." She huffed a small laugh. "I expect I'll need to reread that one myself multiple times."

[an_angel_scorned]

"Have you tried to be flashy recently?" Eva asked, half-teasing, half-swallowing back a joke about-- well.

You know.

[spin_kick_snap]

"Not much," Kathy admitted, also not saying what had flitted through her mind even yes, all these years later. "Sometimes I do fancy tricks at the bar, but that's more for tips."

[an_angel_scorned]

"Too bad," Eva said serenely. "Sometimes flashy can be fun."