Barry's Old Warehouse, Warehouse District, Sunday Afternoon

[spin_kick_snap]

So. The island could turn her back into an ex at literally any moment. That was not a thought that was good for Kathy's peace of mind. Being an ex again, for however short a time, had not been good for Kathy's peace of mind. She hadn't been a mindless husk that had seen everything that moved as 'prey,' no, but that was cold comfort when she had spent the day eating brains.

Sharing brains with other people.

Hunting small creatures to get--

Her stomach lurched again, just thinking about it. She hadn't eat much this past week just for that reason. It felt like February all over again, when eating had been a struggle, the very act bringing up memories she didn't want to relive.

Distantly, Kathy knew she should go home, deal with the mess left in her room, deal with the mess that was her life. And she would! She just--couldn't yet. Not while she still felt like this, ten pounds of crazy in a four pound bag. She just needed to get a handle on it--was trying to get a handle on it--and when she did, she'd go home. She'd apologize for worrying everyone, she'd clean up, she'd be okay.

Soon. Just not now.

[Open]

Comments

[rebelseekspizza]

Dante let out a loud breath; it held a hint of amusement.

"I like being here for you," he said. "Don't worry so much."

[spin_kick_snap]

"Let's say you couldn't heal, you broke your legs, and you needed me and Anders to help you out while you recovered," Kathy asked quietly. "You wouldn't worry about how much you asked of us?"

[rebelseekspizza]

"Worry? Nah."

Refuse to accept it? Yeah.

[spin_kick_snap]

"I mean after we yelled at you for dragging yourself down the hallway and standing on your broken fucking leg trying to do it all yourself," Kathy asked, because she'd met him.

[rebelseekspizza]

Dante rolled his eyes theatratically in response.

[spin_kick_snap]

"I'm serious though," Kathy said, contrasting his theatricality with solemn quiet. "I just...I don't want this to get anymore one-sided. I don't ever want it to go from 'want to' to 'have to.'"

[rebelseekspizza]

"Kathy, I knew what I signed up for," Dante said, his head tilting as he watched her right back. "I used to know people who had your kind of shit going on."

[spin_kick_snap]

That was an interesting comment and Kathy's desire to know more exploded out into every conceivable direction, but most of them involved the kind of questions that drove Dante nuts. So, instead, she limited herself to one.

"What happened to them?"

[rebelseekspizza]

"Went their own way, got killed, something between A and B," Dante said. "Nobody was in any place to stick around."

[spin_kick_snap]

Kathy nodded. At least there was a spread. It wasn't like he'd said something like They all uniformly went nuts, got hooked on drugs, and spent the rest of their short lives in alleyways or something like that.

So she mulled that answer over, nodded, and tried to relax against the bed again. And rather than relaxing, she leaned over and kissed him this time.

[rebelseekspizza]

He was happy to let her, kissing her back firmly, fingers sliding through her hair. "You're the prettiest," he murmured. "And the nicest to deal with."

[spin_kick_snap]

"Of all the people with my kind of shit going on?" Kathy asked, giving another one of those small huffs of laughter. She leaned down to kiss him again, soft and sweet. "There a lotta ex-zombies in Limbo City? You shoulda told me. I'd've looked for a support group."

[rebelseekspizza]

"Lot of fucked up people," Dante corrected gently. "People who got abused, people who got raped, people who got... worse."

[spin_kick_snap]

Kathy could imagine the kind of things that counted as 'worse' in a normal city, like LA. She absolutely refused to imagine the kinds of things that 'worse' could entail when demons got involved.

...She wasn't sure she counted as a survivor though. She technically hadn't.

"I'm glad you admit it," she said suddenly. "That I'm fucked up. Not everybody does. But I am. And to really get me, that's gotta be a thing you accept. I'm fucked up. Not forever, I hope, but right now." She looked down at him. "You've never really seen me with illusions, not even the ones I had."

[rebelseekspizza]

Dante shrugged. "Nobody got time for that," he said. "Nothing wrong with being fucked up. I mean, it sucks... but you get what I mean."

[spin_kick_snap]

"I get it," Kathy said. "Might not have a couple of years ago, but...yeah. I get it now. Being fucked up isn't a value judgement. It just is."

[rebelseekspizza]

"And it's gonna keep being what it is."

Dante touched her cheek. "Crying in the shower and shit."

[spin_kick_snap]

Kathy curled her lip in displeasure, but allowed, "I'm willing to accept crying in the shower so long as there's at least a fifty percent decrease in hiding in the warehouse."

[rebelseekspizza]

"We can work on that," Dante said. He dropped his hand. "But you're doing good, Kat. Even if it doesn't feel like that."

[spin_kick_snap]

Awww, she missed his touch. It was warm on her water-cooled skin. And more than that, she just liked when he touched her, sexy or not.

"I am?" Her smile was rueful before she ducked her head, not meeting his eyes. "I don't suppose you can explain how? I know it's complicated and shit, so it's cool if you can't." That part was said all in a rush before she slowed again. "I just--I'm not seeing it right now. Not at all."

[rebelseekspizza]

It was all right. The dropping was a prelude to him sliding an arm around her.

Touching her was different these days; she felt like home.

"You get through most days just fine," Dante said. "You don't have as many nightmares anymore. You work shifts, you smile, you laugh a lot - more than you cry in showers."

[spin_kick_snap]

"Not so much this week," Kathy murmured, curling up against him and still holding fast to his other hand. She was warm again, both inside and out. "But...setbacks aren't the end of the world. And they don't mean you're right back at the beginning."

Even if the end was still somewhere farther away than she could see.

[rebelseekspizza]

"They just happen."

Dante pressed a kiss to her cheek.

"Proud of ya, Kat."

[spin_kick_snap]

"Thanks," Kathy said, turning rosy under his praise. Her toes curled a little under the blankets. "You miiiiight have helped. A little. So...thanks."

[rebelseekspizza]

"No problem," Dante said, tease in his voice. He winked.