Barry's Old Warehouse, Saturday Afternoon

[spin_kick_snap]

Kathy hadn't meant to lie to Anders when she said that wouldn't be alone tonight. She'd had every intention of going back to the apartment, letting Raven yell at her for that bullshit note she'd left, and then spend the rest of the evening pass by in a Netflix binge, where she'd watch six episodes of a forgettable anime and only drag herself to bed when the sun came up.

That wasn't what happened. Too filthy and injured for Baltimore, she'd made her way to Barry's old warehouse of all places. But it hadn't been the worst place to hole up while she had a breakdown. There'd been a shower, a clothing replicator, even a prototype for a food fabricator, though Kathy'd had to force herself to eat. It also had a lot of bits of heavy machinery that barely dented when she slammed her batons against them and pillows that made a most satisfied ripping sound when she tore them apart. Best of all, it was in the middle of the warehouse district and no one had come to find out what all the clamor was about, save for one squirrel that had run away after she'd flung a bottle of rum at it and screamed, "LEAVE ME ALONE!"

And there were plenty of places to curl up and crash once she'd worn herself out.

It was afternoon before she finally woke up, stiff and sore and still tired. Her reflection in a piece of shiny sheet metal was a blurry composite of light and dark--dark circles under her eyes, dark bruises elsewhere, pale face, and even bits of white feathers caught in her dark hair from her destructive rampage. She barely recognized herself. Hell, she barely looked human. If this were LA again, she wouldn't blame anyone for mistaking her for an ex. "Look at me, I'm a wreck," she muttered, shaking her head. "Just look at me."

"Look at me and tell me who I am,
Why I am, what I am.
Call me a fool and it's true I am,
I don't know who I am.
It's such a shame,
I'm such a sham.
No one knows who I am."

She was dancing now, Fandom's whimsy moving her feet in slow, sweeping circles. She barely noticed, not with memories from the year before rising up unbidden. Memories of when she'd been happy; filled with wonder and songs and laughter.

"Once there were sweet possibilities,
I could see, just for me.
Now all my dreams are just memories,
Fated never to be.
Time's not a friend, hurrying by.
I wonder who am I?

Am I the face of the future?
Am I the face of the past?
Am I the one who must finish last?"

Her circles slowed, bright memories fading back to grim reality. She came to a stop right back at the metal sheet acting as a mirror. Once again, she looked into it, and her reflection stared back at her with dull eyes. She barely recognized the girl in the makeshift mirror. And wasn't sure she wanted to.

"Look at me and tell me who I am,
Why I am, what I am.
Will I survive?
Who will give a damn,
If no one knows who I am?"

"Nobody knows," she whispered to herself. "Not even you. No one knows who I am...."

[Post is open and musical!]

Comments

[rebelseekspizza]

"Pretty sure you weren't doing the fucking," Dante retorted. "But you gave me months of emotional connection crap before then anyway."

Honestly, there wasn't much of a line she could cross with words.

[spin_kick_snap]

Yes, well--Kathy. Prone to worrying, though she was relaxing a little now that he'd had his chance to get upset and hadn't.

"I can fuck you without actually fucking you," she retorted. "And--you know what? I don't think it was actually months. We met at the end of August, remember? And were banging by mid-October."

Weeks, Dante. She'd made you wait weeks. The first few of which you were debating whether or not you even liked her.

[rebelseekspizza]

Dante shrugged. "Still weeks," he said. "Definitely more than a month."

Leading to a one-night explosion of fucking that lasted long enough he was still vaguely wondering if it'd really happene, but still.

[spin_kick_snap]

It had and it had been awesome. Though the time she'd come three times and he'd come twice would live on as her favorite for a long time.

"Yeah, but think about it. It took Anders and me years to fuck for the first time. Ezra, a few months. You practically got the express lane into my panties."

[rebelseekspizza]

"How did that happen?" Dante mused. "Not that my ego doesn't dig it."

It'd probably dig it more if there wasn't still a massive short somewhere in the system that had previously found Kathy attractive as hell.

[spin_kick_snap]

Which was why Kathy wasn't trying to push this conversation anywhere beyond just talking--and casual talking at that.

"When Anders and I first met, I was even shier and more awkward than you've ever seen me. Completely inexperienced--he gave me my first kiss. Then I had a crush on Gorgon and he started seeing Nathan and the timing never worked."

Story of their relationship.

"Then Ezra came around and we started flirting and messing around some. It took me awhile to work up the courage, and then a little longer to get over getting abandoned in the woods. By the time you came around, I'd gotten over all my virginity hang-ups." She paused, and added, "Being Banzai helped. If I could be brave and bold and fearless in Baltimore, I could be the same with boys, too. I started seeing myself as someone who could be desirable."

[rebelseekspizza]

"Trust you to have a whole word wall ready to answer that question," Dante said, though he sounded fond this time, not bothered. "Still can't wrap my head around you not figuring out you were hot for that long."

[spin_kick_snap]

"That was barely a wall," Kathy said, poking him again. "That qualified as a retaining wall at best."

She shook her head. "Hard to feel hot when you're too busy feeling like you're in everybody's way. Besides, don't people say confidence is sexy? I needed to get some of that, first."

[rebelseekspizza]

"Yeah, but confidence didn't shape those legs," Dante said, kicking gently at her ankles.

[spin_kick_snap]

"Yeah, okay, that's fair," Kathy said, lifting a leg up until it was at an acute angle to her face. She gave it a proud smile before letting it fall back to the floor. "But I was always more hung up on my tits. And no one told me whether or not I had a decent ass."

Beat.

"Also, you missed the way I dressed for awhile. Few people wanted to look below the giant prints to tell for sure."

[rebelseekspizza]

"You'd look weird with big tits," was Dante's verdict. But also... "Wait, are there pictures of that?"

[spin_kick_snap]

"No," Kathy said quickly. Far too quickly.

[rebelseekspizza]

"So I should ask Raven," Dante concluded.

[spin_kick_snap]

"Yes," Kathy said, nodding. "Yes, you ask her and she'll show you what she's got."

If he was going to overlook his roommate in favor of hers, that was just fine. Raven had arrived later and had taken longer to become one of Kathy's best friends. And if she could convince him to overlook Sparkle entirely, even better.

[rebelseekspizza]

Dante narrowed his eyes at her.

"So... not Raven," he said.

[spin_kick_snap]

"No, no, absolutely Raven," Kathy said. "You should trust me on this."

"Would I lie to you?
Would I lie to you honey?
Now would I say something that wasn't true?
I'm asking you sugar
Would I lie to you?"

"Oh fuck you, island!" Kathy railed, shaking a fist towards the window.

[rebelseekspizza]

Dante caught himself laughing. "Anders?" he tried. "He's known you for... how long?"

[spin_kick_snap]

"He came from a pre-Industrial world," Kathy said quickly. "He only learned how to use a phone, like, weeks before you arrived."

Such slander, Kathy. Such terrible, terrible slander.

[rebelseekspizza]

"Hadn't he been at Fandom for like a year before that?" Dante said, raising an eyebrow. "He's smart."

[spin_kick_snap]

"Telephones are very complicated," Kathy said, nodding earnestly like this would make her bullshit any more likely. "He blew a bunch up with magic. For reals."

[rebelseekspizza]

"Iiiii don't belieeeeve you," Dante sang. Smirking, for once.

[spin_kick_snap]

"Well that's just hurtful," Kathy pouted. "It's not my fault that Anders was terrible with phones and certainly doesn't have any pictures of me from junior year. And he wasn't around for much of my sophomore."

The only person left who was was Sparkle. Who Dante would hopefully not think of.

[rebelseekspizza]

Dante snickered. Yeah, totally hitting up Anders about that. Though... he tilted his head. "How'd you meet the guy, anyway?"

[spin_kick_snap]

"We had class together," Kathy said, smiling fondly at the memory. "A class about improvised weaponry. It was a lot of fun and we ended up teaming up a couple of times. I was imaginative and he was practical. We worked."

[rebelseekspizza]

"Make a lot of cool stuff?" Dante asked.