Baltimore, Sunday Night

[spin_kick_snap]

It had been another bad day. The worst part was, there had been nothing that had made it a bad day. It wasn't like there was rhyme or reason for it, but for some reason as the sun went down and the lights came on over the water, Kathy been struck anew by grief, her breath thick in her throat, her eyes burning with tears. Maybe the lights had reminded her of LA. Or maybe they'd reminded her of happier, easier times, when everything was good. More than good. Perfect. She'd known what she was doing and why--everything had made sense. She'd had a plan and every step she'd taken had moved her closer to her goals.

Now she had no plan, no goals other than 'make it through the day.' Some days, she felt good, like she was making progress, uncovering bits and pieces of herself that she'd thought she'd lost, trying to fit them into the person she was now like shards of a broken mirror. Other days, like today, she felt like she was drowning and every breath was a struggle around the thick weight of grief and regret and pain that sat on her chest like a creature out of myth. Most days were somewhere in-between, an odd muted gray as she fumbled her way, uncertain whether she was moving forward or backwards or even off to the side.

Like she did so many nights, she made her way to Baltimore. This time, she found herself on a rooftop somewhere, staring down at the city. She didn't think she'd even stood on this particular building as Banzai before, but still the vantage point and the angles were so familiar that the ache she felt sharpened to the point of true pain. But the tears stayed where they were, locked away, and instead she just sat, staring at the city, at the life, she'd once called hers and waited for it to pass.

It would pass, right?



[For one and up early for SP]

Comments

[spin_kick_snap]

"Gee, I'm sure that a nice helping of dick will solve all my problems," Kathy told him.

[rebelseekspizza]

"Definitely good at distracting you," Dante pointed out.

Look, Kathy, you were still talking to a guy who spent most of his life trying to solve all of his problems with his dick, so...

[spin_kick_snap]

"I'm mean, true," Kathy conceded. "But I can't actually fuck every moment of the day. Or even just the ones I'm conscious for."

Beat.

"You're going to point out that's what drinking is for, aren't you."

[rebelseekspizza]

Dante tilted his head. "... Yeah, basically," he said. "Or other stuff."

Beat.

"Don't do drugs?"

Look, he couldn't sell that one so well, for obvious reasons.

[spin_kick_snap]

"I thought about trying some," she said, running her finger along the rim of her empty shot glass. "Back when I was going to clubs a lot more, trying to get lost in the music and the dancing. But pretty much every Lifetime special put out in the last decade has the stupid girl by herself taking the wrong pill from the wrong guy, so...never seemed worth the risk."

[rebelseekspizza]

"Probably a good call," Dante said. (Not that he'd ever worried overmuch about that kinda shit.) "Mostly you just have to keep yourself busy, I guess."

[spin_kick_snap]

Dante had always been pretty hardy. Plus, the middle of a strange club was hardly the place to figure out how her weird metabolism interacted with new drugs.

"Which is why I'm managing a sex store now, I guess," she said. "Especially since my other job attempts didn't really pan out."

[rebelseekspizza]

"So you can spend fifty percent of your time on dick and fifty percent of your time on fake dick," Dante joked. "Problem solved."

[spin_kick_snap]

"When this is all over, you should look into being a life planner or whatever those are," Kathy said, flagging down their server and asking for two cherry cheesecake shots. "Help lost millennials find true meaning and happiness by helping them find the perfect dick-life balance."

[rebelseekspizza]

"I'm just sticking with what I'm good at," Dante said, smirking at her. "Though I can give listening a shot, if you wanna talk about something else."

[spin_kick_snap]

"I don't know if I have a whole lot else to talk about," Kathy admitted, stressing the else a little. She had a lot to talk about when it came to what was going on inside her brain, but she also wouldn't blame Dante for not wanting to keep listening to that. "My life is pretty much split between going to work, bumming around the apartment catching up on stupid TV I missed, and wandering around Baltimore trying to...I dunno. Find distractions? Not really exciting."

[rebelseekspizza]

"I kinda meant the whole... thing," Dante said, gesturing vaguely. "Got sidetracked by dick jokes, but..."

[spin_kick_snap]

"And I was giving you an out," Kathy said, giving him a rueful smile. "Just in case you wanted to change the subject."

She rubbed at her forehead, looking drawn and tired for a moment. "Did I ever tell you about my handwavy job search? It's kinda funny, if your humor trends towards the macabre."

[rebelseekspizza]

"Nope, you didn't," Dante said, taking a sip of his drink.

A look at Kathy's face made him wave over the waiter again.

[spin_kick_snap]

The waiter hurried over, dropping their cherry cheesecake shots down in front of them and waited for additional orders if they had them.

"Working at a se--" Kathy's eyes slid over to the waiter. "Working at Dite's is apparently the only job I'm fit for. I thought about trying the gaming and comic shop in town, but you know what's really trendy right now? Zombies."

She grabbed her shot and slammed it back, barely tasting the sweetness.

"Looks like The Shambling Dead is doing super well for ratings. There were posters everywhere."

[rebelseekspizza]

"Yeaaah, they had some huge deal with some guy killing some other guy last year," said Dante, who didn't actually fall into the Shambling Dead demographic. "But fuck, awkward."

He pointed out like... three more shots on the menu. "Just keep 'em coming."

[spin_kick_snap]

Kathy had. Once.

"And some nachos!" she called after the departing server. Look, she was hungry and she didn't want to collapse into a puddle of drunken weepiness for the few minutes it took the alcohol to work its way through her bloodstream. "Yeah. And the others were even worse. I thought about applying at Furnado", because, you know, playing with kitties and puppies and stuff. But umm...

She dropped her eyes. "There was this pet store. Whoever was there last had opened the cages and the food so the animals would have a shot, I think, but...by the time we broke in, there were only a few left. They were skinny and hungry--the dogs actually took out the first few exes to get inside--"

And now she was reaching over for his shot.

[rebelseekspizza]

"Aw, fuck," Dante said.

He let her take his shot. She needed it more.

"So that one was a no-go," he agreed. "No taking you to the Cat Café either. Tried anything else?"

[spin_kick_snap]

"Luke's," Kathy said, sipping at his shot rather than chugging. Her stomach was in knots. "But I'm, umm, funny around meat right now. So that seemed--poor."

She finished the drink and set it to the side. "Cat cafe?"

[rebelseekspizza]

"That's where we got Blondie, in Baltimore," Dante said idly. "Luke's was the last one?"

[spin_kick_snap]

"...Blondie?" Kathy asked, confused. "You got another cat? Is Lachlan all right?"

She'd missed that entirely.

"Yeah. Well, technically, Luke's was the first one. Furnado was the last. Then the manager at Dite's quit and that seemed almost providential. There wasn't anything to freak me out in there, so..."

[rebelseekspizza]

"Just a whole lot of dicks," Dante agreed.

He swiped the first shot he got when the waiter got back. "And Lachlan's fine. We just found out about the cafe, and you know Anders..." He shrugged. "So now we got two cats."

[spin_kick_snap]

"There was a zombie dick, but it was just green with weird ridges to look like scabs or something." Kathy said, nudging one of hers in his direction, too. Hey, she owed him one. "I tossed it, but it didn't make me hyperventilate in a corner or anything."

She gave him a small smile. "Maybe when I get over all this, you can show me where that cafe is. It sounds like somewhere I'd like to visit."

[rebelseekspizza]

"It's fun. You get a drink and an hour with the cats," Dante said. "Just don't let Anders name any of them. He haggled me down to 'Messere Blondie Fuzzybutt'."

He left her shot where it was. She needed it more.

[spin_kick_snap]

"I wonder how Raven would feel about a pet," Kathy mused. "I've never had one. Always wanted a dog, though. But a cat would be cool, too."