Isle of Ikea, Tuesday

[spin_kick_snap]

Kathy and Raven had a new apartment in need of decoration and furnishing and they also had a lot of things to not think about and/or work their way through, depending on how they were feeling at the time. Conveniently enough, both of those things worked with the other. Kathy had spent her sleepless hours the night before making lists, flipping through magazines for inspiration (seriously, how many Williams-Sonoma catalogues did you need Eliot?!), and doodling layouts to try to figure our furniture arrangements. Then, once it had gotten bright enough outside that it wouldn't be weird to be up and about, Kathy had put together a trip to the Isle of Ikea. Because what could be better than combining a caffeine buzz, a ridiculously generous budget, and four teenage girls?

You were welcome, Ikea employees!

"So we need pretty much everything," Kathy said, as they landed on the shores of the isle. "Two bathrooms, a kitchen, a living room, and our bedrooms. Pretty much the sky's...the..." She trailed off, looking at the building in front of them. She'd known the whole island was devoted to the store, but she hadn't really thought about how big that store would be. "And this looks like it has everything," she added. "Okay then."

[For those invited, and I have no idea whether the Isle has squirrels or not! Also open for phone calls]

Comments

[tigerundercover]

Raven had adopted her formerly habitual blonde look for the trip, not being sure how many non-Fandom civilians might be there, and not really wanting to deal with stares today.

Also, she hadn't done it in ages, and she kind of wanted to practice.

"I'm pretty sure I read somewhere that you could actually live in one of these stores," she said. "Like . . . comfortably."

[spin_kick_snap]

"I'm pretty sure this store could comfortably house an entirely neighborhood comfortably," Kathy declared, trying to find the back wall and failing. "Wanna skip the apartment and just move in here? Meatballs for life?"

Which she wouldn't be eating, thanks.

[tigerundercover]

"I do like a good meatball," Raven said. "But it'd get pretty irritating, after awhile, constantly having all these house guests wandering around and trying to test the sturdiness of the furniture."

[spin_kick_snap]

"Having to swap beds whenever they decide to change out the floor models," Kathy agreed. "I read a book like that once where the mannequins came alive or something. Which is definitely something we'd need to worry about in an Fandom-affiliated store."

[tigerundercover]

". . . I would be so surprised if that never happened on Fandom before," Raven said. "Were they evil attack mannequins? Because in Fandom they'd definitely be evil attack mannequins."

Which would probably then turn people they bit into evil attack mannequins and oh my god Raven was so sorry she'd started thinking down that road that was horrible.

[soniaroadsqueen]

Ringo shook her head. "I totally believe that." She grinned slightly. "And that you could get lost and have to live in there."

[tigerundercover]

"I bet the employees have to undergo search and rescue training," Raven said. "Just to avoid people doing that."

[soniaroadsqueen]

"Oh, I hadn't thought of that."

She looked at the building again. "I wonder if employees get lost in there. Maybe they all have to have GPS locators or something."

[tigerundercover]

"No way. You probably have to complete a three day obstacle course before they let you on the sales floor by yourself." Raven was getting into this Ikea worldbuilding they were doing. "I hear there's all sorts of secret little passageways from one section to the other. I bet they have to have them all memorized. Like London cab drivers."

[soniaroadsqueen]

Ringo had dark circles under her eyes, but was sort of hoping that sugar and caffeine would give her enough energy that no one would notice. Or at least no one would comment on it. Some part of her was making a little note in the back of her head that maybe she should practice more make-up stuff since she didn't really know how to, you know, make it less obvious.

Still, now she was out with her friends, and they were going to shop and celebrate that everyone was back safe and settling back into life on the island. So that was all good, right?

Also, she'd never actually been out to Ikea, and her eyes were huge. "This place is crazy," she murmured, clearly impressed. She was wondering how hard it might be to get in at night to do an AT run.

[spin_kick_snap]

Whereas Ringo might notice that Kathy's makeup was a little heavier than usual and for entirely the same reason. The only difference was, Kathy had learned to do her makeup from her mother, who had celebrated Kathy's 10th birthday with 'makeup to make you beautiful!' and had honed her skills covering up bruises from Banzai scuffles.

"On the off-chance anyone was worried that we'd have to go somewhere else to find something today, I think we can cross that concern right off," Kathy said, shaking her head a little bit. "How much custom does this place get?"

[soniaroadsqueen]

She probably should have noticed, but Ringo's image of Kathy had faded more than she'd like to admit, so she didn't really register it.

"I don't think I was worried about that," Ringo grined. "Though, um, now I'm wondering if we should worry about being trapped in there forever?"

[spin_kick_snap]

"If we really get lost, we can have Raven transform into a giraffe or something to spot our way out," Kathy reassured her. Or maybe 'reassured.' "The bigger danger would be having to fight our way through this place. Too many places to get split up or overrun."

...Yeah, definitely not reassuring at all.

[soniaroadsqueen]

Ringo blinked, looking confused. "Overrun by what? Are there, like, lots of crazy shoppers here?"

[that_oldsaying]

Alluka noticed the make up and, unlike Kathy, she didn't have any of her own on to make the subject a no-go zone.

But Alluka really wasn't one to pry so, aside from tilting her head thoughtfully at Ringo, she let it go. But she did notice.

"Do you think the place is?" Alluka wondered. "Or maybe all the things? There's so many things!"

[soniaroadsqueen]

"I don't know," Ringo admitted. "I mean, it's just so huge." She shook her head. "What do you imagine they've filled it with?" Like, was there even enough stuff to make a place that large feel anything but empty?

[that_oldsaying]

"Fun things," Alluka opined. "Otherwise, people wouldn't come here, right?"

[soniaroadsqueen]

"I don't know," Ringo giggled. "I mean, sometimes people do things that aren't fun, don't they?"

[that_oldsaying]

Alluka clapped her hands together around her elephant (it had seemed fitting to bring, since Kathy had given it to her) and laughed delightedly at the size of the store.

“Just think of how many friends could hang out if you bought everything in here!”

Did she mean toys? Or people? It was hard to tell!

[spin_kick_snap]

"There isn't a house on the island that could fit all this stuff," Kathy said, smiling down at her. "We'd have to tuck everyone into the nooks and crannies where the furniture was wedged together and hope it fit!"

[that_oldsaying]

"It'd be amazing if we could manage it, though," Alluka insisted, giggling. "Some of the stuff could go outside! We could put tables on all of the stairs and slide around the island."

That was a terrible idea, really, but it sounded fun.

[spin_kick_snap]

"Anything to make those stairs less ridiculous," Kathy said with a nod. "Though we should put big mounds of pillows and blankets on the bottoms, just for safety."

Like anything involving riding tables down stone stairs could make it 'safe.'

[tigerundercover]

"They sell stuffed animals here, too." Raven didn't know Alluka very well, but it was hard to miss the girl's enthusiasm for stuffed toys. "Or at least, there were a bunch on the website."

[that_oldsaying]

"Do they?!" That was amazing! That was thrilling! That was--oh. They weren't here to shop for her.

Alluka's gleeful expression dimmed slightly before perking back up as a thought occurred to her.

"Do you, do you think Kathy would want a couple of friends? Or maybe a few for you? I could help you pick some out, if you'd like."

[tigerundercover]

"I don't know about Kathy, but I could probably use a new friend or two," Raven said.

She was going to get all the soft and squishy things. All of them. Maybe then she could convince herself that soft and squishy -- and beds -- were things to be lounged on and enjoyed and she could get some sleep.