Isle of Ikea, Tuesday

[spin_kick_snap]

Kathy and Raven had a new apartment in need of decoration and furnishing and they also had a lot of things to not think about and/or work their way through, depending on how they were feeling at the time. Conveniently enough, both of those things worked with the other. Kathy had spent her sleepless hours the night before making lists, flipping through magazines for inspiration (seriously, how many Williams-Sonoma catalogues did you need Eliot?!), and doodling layouts to try to figure our furniture arrangements. Then, once it had gotten bright enough outside that it wouldn't be weird to be up and about, Kathy had put together a trip to the Isle of Ikea. Because what could be better than combining a caffeine buzz, a ridiculously generous budget, and four teenage girls?

You were welcome, Ikea employees!

"So we need pretty much everything," Kathy said, as they landed on the shores of the isle. "Two bathrooms, a kitchen, a living room, and our bedrooms. Pretty much the sky's...the..." She trailed off, looking at the building in front of them. She'd known the whole island was devoted to the store, but she hadn't really thought about how big that store would be. "And this looks like it has everything," she added. "Okay then."

[For those invited, and I have no idea whether the Isle has squirrels or not! Also open for phone calls]

Comments

[tigerundercover]

Raven shrugged. ". . . I kind of stayed up all night reading about it. I was just going to go see what sorts of stuff I might want to look for but then I found all these home decor blog posts about it and I kind of went down a rabbit hole."

[soniaroadsqueen]

"I guess it is kind of fascinating," Ringo allowed, and that was just from looking at the building. "So I can understand why people might, you know, write a ton about it."

[tigerundercover]

"It also might be a cult," Raven said, mostly joking. "I hear the meatballs are addictive."

[soniaroadsqueen]

"Meatballs?" Ringo asked, her curiosity definitely piqued by the mention of food.

[tigerundercover]

"Swedish meatballs," Raven confirmed. "That's kind of their whole deal. Being Swedish."

[soniaroadsqueen]

"Oh." Ringo cocked her head slightly.

"And we can get them here? I mean, I thought that it was a furniture store."

[tigerundercover]

"They have a little cafe thing, so you can take a food break after all the walking around. It's like a whole little shopping ecosystem."

[soniaroadsqueen]

"Huh. So it's not that much of a joke that you could, like, get lost in there forever and manage to stay alive."

[tigerundercover]

"Not so much," Raven agreed. "Apparently there was a monkey living in one in Canada? . . . That one was kind of more meme than story. But there were pictures. It was wearing a coat."

[soniaroadsqueen]

Ringo blinked. "Like, um, a pet?" A pet, right?

[tigerundercover]

"Maybe?" Raven shrugged. "More likely it was some kind of publicity stunt. There was a video from Britain where they released hundreds of cats in one overnight."

Seriously, there was so much random Ikea stuff online. So much. People had made music videos.

[soniaroadsqueen]

"Weird."

Ringo shook her head.

"We don't really have anything like this back home."

[tigerundercover]

"What, like you have to go to two different stores if you want to buy furniture and eat dinner?" Raven teased.

[soniaroadsqueen]

"Is that weird?" Ringo asked, trying to keep a straight face, but mostly just giggling.

[tigerundercover]

Raven shook her head and tsked. "I bet almost none of your stores have Starbuckses in them, either."

[soniaroadsqueen]

Ringo blinked. "I thought Starbucks was its own store?"

[tigerundercover]

"There are those, too," Raven assured her. "I think they might be trying to take over the world."

[soniaroadsqueen]

That drew another giggle. "How nefarious of them. Maybe they're trying to mind-control us with sugary coffee?"

[tigerundercover]

"Nefarious indeed. They'll have a veritable army of middle class white ladies addicted to pumpkin spice."

[soniaroadsqueen]

"Does that actually have any pumpkin in it?" Ringo asked, suddenly reminded that she'd always wondered that.

[tigerundercover]

"Not even a little," Raven said. "I think the idea is that it uses all the spices that go nicely with pumpkin. 'Nutmeg, cinnamon, allspice, and clove latte' takes a lot longer to order, though."

[soniaroadsqueen]

"I guess it is harder to put all that on a menu," Ringo admitted. "And some people might not even know what all of it means. But who doesn't like pumpkin?"

[tigerundercover]

"Exactly. Plus, it's seasonal! So they can increase demand with manufactured scarcity! It's the American way."

[soniaroadsqueen]

"You know, I've never really thought about it, but are there other seasonal things? Like, you know, when they don't have any pumpkins?"

[tigerundercover]

"Like, coffee wise?" Raven asked. "Sure. I bet they do limited edition flavors all the time."