Apartment Above Luke's, Sunday Afternoon

[spin_kick_snap]

The quiet was nice.

Kathy looked around the empty apartment, wandering from room to room. If asked, she'd say she was picturing where all their stuff would go when she and Raven left Eliot's place (okay, Eliot's and Parker's and Hardison's, but it had been Eliot's place in her mind for years and it would take some adjusting to) and moved in here, but really, she was just appreciating the quiet. It was nice, being somewhere that no one else was for a little while. She didn't have to worry about whether her smile was convincing or she appeared happy--and grateful! One mustn't forget grateful!--to be alive again. Not that she wanted to be dead again or anything. But sometimes it was hard to be happy about anything. But around people, she felt like she owed it to them to try. Or at least to put up a decent enough facade that they could convince themselves she was.

Alone, though, she didn't have to pretend. She could just do her own thing, try to distance herself from her recent spate of nightmares and just wander for a bit. She would have thought she'd gotten enough walking in as an ex, but maybe her body'd just gotten used to the repetitive motion. Maybe idly poking around the place really would give her some ideas for what to do with the place. Or maybe it was all just bullshit and she should focus on thinking less altogether.

Yeah, it was probably the latter. But until she found a decent substitute for her previous activities that shut her brain down (besides zombieism, ha ha, she was hilarious), walking and appreciating the lack of people would have to do.

[Post open! Link to Anders' thread]

Comments

[spin_kick_snap]

She still had it; she was just ignoring it as much as she could right now. Because that was healthy, right?

Still, so many of her dreams centered around feeding a ravenous hunger that never ended, Kathy woke up feeling vaguely nauseated by the idea of eating. Combine that with what she dreamed about and that vague nausea turned into a complete disinterest in food.

"I hope you're ready to be wowed by walls," Kathy said with a small laugh as she started leading him through the rooms. It was a decent-sized apartment, much bigger than anything she and Raven could have afforded in Stanford. "Cause that's pretty much all we've got so far. I'm kind of wondering if Raven would be okay with us painting it a little. Get some colors up in here."

[not_every_mage]

"They're nice walls," Anders shrugged, following her. (He wondered whether she had her own bedroom,and then wondered why he was wondering that.) "Look like they'll keep the roof up. Ad you even got a ceiling and floor to go with them."

He had no idea what to say, and it was coming out as nonsense.

"But a little paint'd be nice, too. Make it seem more like home."

[spin_kick_snap]

"I had to haggle for the floors, but the crew threw the floors in for free," Kathy said, because at least nonsense was talking. "I really like how the kitchen and the living room are kind of one big space, so you can talk while cooking or whatever."

At the back of the apartment were the bedrooms, one of which had access to the master bathroom. "I'm hoping Raven will let me claim this one as mine," she said. "I've always wanted my own bathroom."

And she was going to do her best to not think about Anders and bathrooms very hard, thank you.

[not_every_mage]

"That was nice of them," Anders agreed about the crew. He was idly trailing his fingers over the bare white walls as he followed Kathy. "I like the layout. It makes the apartment feel bigger, doesn't it?"

He had been about to say I remember about the bathtub, but then stopped himself. Probably Kathy didn't want to be reminded.

"If she won't give up the bathroom, you could offer to trade after a few months," he said instead. "Or flip a coin."

[spin_kick_snap]

"It's nice and open," Kathy agreed, looking out the giant window that let in lots of light, even considering it was winter and the sun was a thin, cold thing right now. "I like the idea of being able to just look up and see people doing their own thing, you know? Even if we're not interacting, it would be hard to feel lonely."

[not_every_mage]

"That's what I like about having roommates," Anders agreed, a tiny smile flickering across his face. "Even if all Dante is doing is watching some stupid cooking competition for the 90th time, I know he's there. I don't know what to do with myself when I have to spend too long alone."

Which was why the Circle had hit upon putting him in a cell by himself probably They were nothing if not effective in their punishments.

[spin_kick_snap]

"...Dante watches cooking competitions?" Sorry, yes, she knew that Anders had a larger point, but for a moment, all she could focus on was Dante watching, like, a Gorgon Ramsay special. That was funny enough to make her smile for real.

Even as that small smile of his twisted at her heart in funny ways she was refusing to examine too closely.

[not_every_mage]

"He does," Anders snorted. "He found one about food trucks that he liked, and then it sort of broadened from there. But he hasn't gotten fancy about it -- his heart still belongs to pizza."

And there went a funny pang in Anders' heart, too, as he wondered how many other ordinary things Kathy had missed.

[spin_kick_snap]

"That's how I used to try to introduce him to new foods," Kathy said, a wistful smile on her face. "Change out pizza toppings and see what worked. He wasn't a fan of kimchi, the big baby."

Kimchi was the food of the gods, dammit.

[not_every_mage]

Anders made a face. "No wonder," he said. "Spicy pickled vegetables don't go on pizza. Cabbage doesn't go on pizza no matter what."

Funny, how in two years and a bit he'd gone from not recognizing pizza to having strong opinions about it.

[spin_kick_snap]

"You're both heathens who don't know what good food is," Kathy informed him. "I mean, Dante doesn't even like olives, which disqualifies him from having opinions on what counts as delicious, but I expected better from you, Anders."

[not_every_mage]

"Even though I don't like olives much either?" Anders asked, amused. "Now I feel bad for disappointing you."

[spin_kick_snap]

"The two of you, peas in a damn pod," Kathy said, throwing up her hands in mock-exasperation. "And since peas are a vegetable, I'm pretty sure I'll have to explain the metaphor."

She laughed again. This kind of easy banter with Anders was nice and she'd missed it terribly. Too bad she just felt like it was a colorful facade while the rest of her hid in shadows behind it.

Of course, that's how she felt about most of her interactions with people.

[not_every_mage]

"I do eat peas," Anders laughed. "Just not on pizza."

Really, Katherine.

He took a few steps toward the wall and slid down it. "I feel like we should sit," he explained. "Easier to talk that way, isn't it?"

There were deeper thoughts behind the banter for him, too. He just wasn't sure how to get into them. He was out of the habit of vomiting his feelings all over Kathy, metaphorically speaking.

[spin_kick_snap]

And now Kathy had to figure out where to sit, too. How close was too close? What would mean to him if she sat further away?

Fuck. She never used to have to worry about this. Of course, before, she'd have just sat down in his lap, wrapping his arms and legs around her and curling up against his chest.

"Yeah," she said, belatedly realizing he was probably waiting for an answer. She sat abruptly, right where she was standing. "More comfortable anyway, lack of seats aside."

At least when you weren't worrying about the exact meaning behind the distance between people, like a nutcase.

[not_every_mage]

"Makes me feel less like you're about to show me the door," Anders added, watching her sit.

(Some part of him wished she was closer, but that was silly.)

"So," he said finally, "Dante said you talked to him about his messages."

He hadn't even thought to call. He suddenly wished he had.

[spin_kick_snap]

"You can stay as long as you like," Kathy said immediately and then felt stupid for it. "I'm not in any hurry to let you--to kick you out."

The phrase to let you go seemed inordinately fraught right now. Go figure.

"More talked around his messages," Kathy said, hugging her knees. "This is Dante we're talking about. Did you know he left them?"

[not_every_mage]

Anders noticed the mid-sentence change of direction, but didn't comment on it. The important thing was that she wasn't asking him to leave.

He shook his head. "No idea," he said. "As far as I knew, he didn't even want to talk to you after..."

He wavered, trying to come up with the right way to put it that wouldn't make her defensive. "After everything that happened," he finally settled on.

[spin_kick_snap]

Kathy kind of wished she'd gone over to the wall, too. It was kind of hard to slump and not fall over with no support.

"It's okay," she said softly. "You can call it what it was. He didn't want to talk to me after I fucked off to LA in a failed attempt to save the world."

[not_every_mage]

"That," Anders agreed, looking concerned about the slump. "I didn't think to ask whether he'd changed his mind. Besides, I didn't know your phone number even worked."

[spin_kick_snap]

"Apparently enough that he could leave a few," she said. "Though the last message was from October, so maybe it stopped working after that."

She was hardly in a position to say for sure.

"And I don't think he did, exactly. Change his mind, I mean. It's different when you're talking to someone you think will never hear you."

[not_every_mage]

Anders shrugged. "He's talking to you now," he said.

[spin_kick_snap]

"He is," Kathy nodded. "We had a decent conversation on the phone today, even. But it's hard." She looked up to meet Anders' eyes. "It's hard talking to both of you."

[not_every_mage]

"It's hard talking to you, too," Anders shrugged. "The bar was easy but that's because we were drinking like we were getting paid for it."

A beat. "You don't have a bottle of anything around, do you?"

[spin_kick_snap]

Kathy shook her head. "I wasn't expecting to entertain," she said wryly. Her fingers twitched; if she'd been closer, she would have brushed her hand against his as she replied, "Not that I'm complaining."

It was hard, yes, but she was still glad he was here.

"I appreciate you giving me a call," she said, and, remembering Dante's advice, added, "I'm leery of contacting you. I don't want to push or overstep, since I think we're both figuring out where the boundaries are. In case you were wondering. Why I hadn't yet."