Apartment Above Luke's, Sunday Afternoon

[spin_kick_snap]

The quiet was nice.

Kathy looked around the empty apartment, wandering from room to room. If asked, she'd say she was picturing where all their stuff would go when she and Raven left Eliot's place (okay, Eliot's and Parker's and Hardison's, but it had been Eliot's place in her mind for years and it would take some adjusting to) and moved in here, but really, she was just appreciating the quiet. It was nice, being somewhere that no one else was for a little while. She didn't have to worry about whether her smile was convincing or she appeared happy--and grateful! One mustn't forget grateful!--to be alive again. Not that she wanted to be dead again or anything. But sometimes it was hard to be happy about anything. But around people, she felt like she owed it to them to try. Or at least to put up a decent enough facade that they could convince themselves she was.

Alone, though, she didn't have to pretend. She could just do her own thing, try to distance herself from her recent spate of nightmares and just wander for a bit. She would have thought she'd gotten enough walking in as an ex, but maybe her body'd just gotten used to the repetitive motion. Maybe idly poking around the place really would give her some ideas for what to do with the place. Or maybe it was all just bullshit and she should focus on thinking less altogether.

Yeah, it was probably the latter. But until she found a decent substitute for her previous activities that shut her brain down (besides zombieism, ha ha, she was hilarious), walking and appreciating the lack of people would have to do.

[Post open! Link to Anders' thread]

Comments

[not_every_mage]

Concern passed across Anders' face as she moved away.

"Maybe it's easier not to be sure," he offered.

[spin_kick_snap]

"Would you rather have not known?" Kathy asked him.

[not_every_mage]

"I don't know," Anders admitted. "That message you sent was hard to watch. If I'd been able to pretend your phone just broke..."

He shook his head, glancing away.

"It doesn't matter."

[spin_kick_snap]

"I'm sorry," Kathy said. "I needed to make sure you all knew how it worked, just in case. And I--I needed to say goodbye. I mean, I genuinely thought Regen--Josh was going to get to me in time, but..." She shook her head. "I still couldn't take the chance. That was my last one."

[not_every_mage]

"I don't blame you for it," Anders said. "I understood all of that. But you asked me if I wanted to know, not if I thought you should have told us."

[spin_kick_snap]

"Sorry," she said again. "I've fallen back into the habit of apologizing for pretty much everything. I know I owe so many that it's hard to keep track sometimes."

[not_every_mage]

"Do you feel like you're making any progress?" Anders wondered.

[spin_kick_snap]

"Some," Kathy said with a wistful smile. "You and Dante are talking to me again, so I must be making some. I know forgiveness and rebuilding trust takes time, but...you're here. And that says I'm on the right track, at least."

[not_every_mage]

Anders didn't answer with words at first, but leaned forward to squeeze her hand. "I say you are too," he said. "The rest of it's just time."

[spin_kick_snap]

"Which I have now," Kathy murmured, squeezing his hands in return and hoping the low tone would mask how her voice trembled. "We have. And I promise, I won't waste it again."