The Luckiest Girl In The World

Gorgon was having a shitty night. He'd briefly chewed on the idea of leaving his phone at home, given just how many times his siblings and his mother had called today. He'd also chewed on the prospect of just staying in, getting smashed, and watching old Western movies until he passed out on his couch, but that didn't seem like as good a way of celebrating his birthday as, say, getting kicked up a few tiers taking down a drug deal or a mugging or something, and then just ripping up the rooftops for a few hours for the hell of it.

What had happened instead, of course, wasn't anything so smooth. No. He'd gotten as far as zip-tying half of a group of thugs that had been working on breaking into one of those hole-in-the-wall instant money joints from the back door before his phone started to vibrate in his pocket.

He ignored that and tied another asshole's hands behind his back.

The phone continued to buzz.

The criminals all exchanged looks between them. A few looked as though they were actively struggling not to laugh when one piped up and asked, "Hey. You need to answer that?"

"Very funny. No. Now shut up and hold still, or I'll flash the goggles at you again, asshole."

"I'm just saying," the guy tried to crane his neck so that he could look at the buzzing duster pocket, "they've been calling a lot. You think it could be important?"

"It's my birthday," Gorgon growled. "Now turn around and keep quiet."

"If we wish you happy birthday, man, will you untie us?"

"If you keep talking, I'll rearrange you so you've all got your faces in between each other's legs, and I'll stick these road flares down your fucking pants when I light them."

Yeah. Tonight's outing was going great.

Edited Date: 2014-08-31 02:54 am (UTC)

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Banzai was running over rooftops again when she spotted a familiar outline of duster and goggles. Oh. Gorgon was out. That could be...awkward? She flushed a little and called up to Johnny.

"Hey, I know that guy. He's another hero, like us. Wanna go say hello?"

This...could go well? Maybe?

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"I'm friendly enough and it couldn't hurt to meet some other superheroes," Johnny said. "I just wish this guy had a better sense of costuming. It's not the 90s anymore."

HE WAS JUDGING YOU, DUSTER.

Edited Date: 2014-08-31 03:20 am (UTC)

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"Hey now!" Banzai said, immediately leaping to Gorgon's defense. "You're running around with a girl in a white karate gi hemmed in rainbows. No making fun of costumes, cause I don't have a leg to stand on. Just be glad you weren't here for my old heroing name."

Which she wasn't gonna share. Nooooo thank you.

"Hey, Gorgon!" she said, starting her descent to street level. "Not leaving any for the rest of us?"

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One of the tied-up guys started humming 'Happy Birthday' under his breath. Gorgon gave him a swift kick to the ribs, in the same motion turning up to nod a hello to Banz--

... To Banzai and the flying guy on fire, there.

"I can't help it if the rest of you are slacking off," he pointed out. "I'm out here working my ass off--"

"On his birt-" Nikolai turned a look downward and flashed his goggles at the jerk with the big mouth. The guy went shock-still for a moment, mouth hanging open and eyes wide, before the goggles snapped shut again and the guy slumped forward.

"-- out here working my ass off, and you're playing on rooftops with...?"

He waved a hand at the human fireball.

"Sparky?"

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"Way off. Human Torch. World famous in my world for saving that very same world a few times," Johnny said. "Nice to meet you."

He gave a light salute as he flew over.

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"Right!" Banzai was blushing for no good reason that she could figure out. "See? Not slacking. I figured Torch might want a tour of the city, now that he's in the area. We've been patrolling. We stopped a robbery in progress and a few other things. We just didn't realize that the party was over here."

"Birthday party," one of the zip-tied guys mumbled. His conscious buddies snickered.

"Is it really your birthday?"

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"We can sing if it is," Johnny offered.

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"First person to start singing-" Gorgon's pocket buzzed. Nikolai shoved his hand into it to try to stifle his phone. Again. "-gets to spend the rest of the night drooling on the sidewalk."

He apparently didn't handle birthdays well.

"How're you finding the city so far, Mister World-Famous?"

Gorgon was also not particularly the sort to get starstruck easily. Even if he had any clue who the Human Torch was.

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That's why Johnny was sure to mention his fame; so Gorgon would know that he should either be starstruck or start hating. Either way, Johnny was used to it.

"No giant monsters here. It has that on New York," Johnny said. "And I really can't complain about the company."

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"I'm not sure how to take that," Banzai said with a nervous laugh. "Considering you enjoy spending your time taking down the criminal element. I've had fun, but I don't know if I wanna be classed in with them."

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"Ah." Gorgon looked up at the Torch, and then back to Banzai. And then back and forth one more time before smirking faintly. "Is this more of a date than a superhero team-up? I'm not crashing it somehow, am I?"

It was a fine, fine line between stifled annoyance and sadistic glee. Nikolai was straddling that line right then, as his phone continued to buzz. He was going to throw the damn thing in a minute, at this rate.

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"It's a social activity involving the beating up of jerks," Johnny said easily. He wasn't sure who exactly this Gorgon guy was, so he was going to give fewer specifics than he gave to the criminal. "But the social part was the real draw."

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"Not everyone is so against having partners as you are," Banzai said with false sweetness, giving Gorgon a tight-lipped smile.

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Gorgon snorted at that.

"You mouth off somebody for knocking you flat on your ass just one time..."

He'd been standing and minding his own business at the time! If he'd been down a few tiers, she could've hurt him pretty good.

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"You looked like a jumper," Banzai said crossly, folding her arms. "I thought a few bruises were a small price to pay for saving your life. Wouldn't you agree, Torch?"

Back her up, Johnny! It's like...date code or something!

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"Absolutely," Johnny said. He had no idea what they were talking about, but when given the choice to side with a cute girl he wanted to make out with and some guy, the choice was clear. "It's easier if you just embrace teamwork."

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"Don't suppose teaming up with her friendly stalker friend to talk about getting her into some proper protective gear doesn't count, then?"

Sorry, Barry. 'Friendly stalker friend' was about the extent of what Nikolai knew about you.

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"He's not a friendly stalker friend!" Banzai argued. And then, had to pause and concede, "Okay, so he does sometimes have boundary issues...but that's not the point!"

Dammit, Barry. This was all your fault somehow.

"The point is, it wouldn't kill you to be a little friendlier, Gorgon. Then you wouldn't have to spend your birthday patrolling alone."

"She's got a point," one of the guys on the ground said. "You wanna loosen these ties a bit, maybe we could--"

"I wasn't talking about you!" And now Banzai was facepalming.

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"For the record, I'd prefer to keep this as a two-person team-up tonight, unless we get to sing happy birthday to him," Johnny said. The costuming part of the conversation was kind of beyond him. That seemed like a running argument. Same for the stalker. Those could be discussed later if necessary.

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"No singing," Gorgon stressed, wrinkling his nose. "And who says I'm upset about being out here on patrol in the first place? Maybe playing lone wolf on the streets of Baltimore-" He pulled his phone out of his pocket and scowled at it. It continued to buzz. He held the power button until it went black. "-is exactly what I wanted to do tonight."

The one who had gotten a boot to the ribs a minute ago was humming Happy Birthday again.

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She didn't have a stalker! She just had a friend who sometimes thought it was okay to follow her into Baltimore while wearing a disguise! Totally different!

...Dammit, Barry.

"I didn't mean that we were gonna team up right now," she promised Johnny. "I just meant--in general, you know? Not tonight specifically. I mean, inviting him along on a date would just be rude to everyone!"

And she was babbling again. Greeeat.

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"Well, if he wants to take his birthday blues out on anyone he can find, I guess that frees us up a little bit to focus more on the date than the hitting people," Johnny reasoned. "Thanks for that, buddy!"

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"Anytime," Gorgon grumbled, reaching up to pinch the bridge of his nose. "You two lovebirds go and have your special evening, or whatever it is you're planning tonight. I'll keep an eye on the crime out here."

He was already preparing himself to think of every criminal he found tonight as that guy. Sparky. It was his birthday and he'd be a bitter old cuss if he wanted to.

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