The Luckiest Girl In The World

"First person to start singing-" Gorgon's pocket buzzed. Nikolai shoved his hand into it to try to stifle his phone. Again. "-gets to spend the rest of the night drooling on the sidewalk."

He apparently didn't handle birthdays well.

"How're you finding the city so far, Mister World-Famous?"

Gorgon was also not particularly the sort to get starstruck easily. Even if he had any clue who the Human Torch was.

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That's why Johnny was sure to mention his fame; so Gorgon would know that he should either be starstruck or start hating. Either way, Johnny was used to it.

"No giant monsters here. It has that on New York," Johnny said. "And I really can't complain about the company."

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"I'm not sure how to take that," Banzai said with a nervous laugh. "Considering you enjoy spending your time taking down the criminal element. I've had fun, but I don't know if I wanna be classed in with them."

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"Ah." Gorgon looked up at the Torch, and then back to Banzai. And then back and forth one more time before smirking faintly. "Is this more of a date than a superhero team-up? I'm not crashing it somehow, am I?"

It was a fine, fine line between stifled annoyance and sadistic glee. Nikolai was straddling that line right then, as his phone continued to buzz. He was going to throw the damn thing in a minute, at this rate.

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"It's a social activity involving the beating up of jerks," Johnny said easily. He wasn't sure who exactly this Gorgon guy was, so he was going to give fewer specifics than he gave to the criminal. "But the social part was the real draw."

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"Not everyone is so against having partners as you are," Banzai said with false sweetness, giving Gorgon a tight-lipped smile.

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Gorgon snorted at that.

"You mouth off somebody for knocking you flat on your ass just one time..."

He'd been standing and minding his own business at the time! If he'd been down a few tiers, she could've hurt him pretty good.

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"You looked like a jumper," Banzai said crossly, folding her arms. "I thought a few bruises were a small price to pay for saving your life. Wouldn't you agree, Torch?"

Back her up, Johnny! It's like...date code or something!

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"Absolutely," Johnny said. He had no idea what they were talking about, but when given the choice to side with a cute girl he wanted to make out with and some guy, the choice was clear. "It's easier if you just embrace teamwork."

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"Don't suppose teaming up with her friendly stalker friend to talk about getting her into some proper protective gear doesn't count, then?"

Sorry, Barry. 'Friendly stalker friend' was about the extent of what Nikolai knew about you.

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"He's not a friendly stalker friend!" Banzai argued. And then, had to pause and concede, "Okay, so he does sometimes have boundary issues...but that's not the point!"

Dammit, Barry. This was all your fault somehow.

"The point is, it wouldn't kill you to be a little friendlier, Gorgon. Then you wouldn't have to spend your birthday patrolling alone."

"She's got a point," one of the guys on the ground said. "You wanna loosen these ties a bit, maybe we could--"

"I wasn't talking about you!" And now Banzai was facepalming.

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"For the record, I'd prefer to keep this as a two-person team-up tonight, unless we get to sing happy birthday to him," Johnny said. The costuming part of the conversation was kind of beyond him. That seemed like a running argument. Same for the stalker. Those could be discussed later if necessary.

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"No singing," Gorgon stressed, wrinkling his nose. "And who says I'm upset about being out here on patrol in the first place? Maybe playing lone wolf on the streets of Baltimore-" He pulled his phone out of his pocket and scowled at it. It continued to buzz. He held the power button until it went black. "-is exactly what I wanted to do tonight."

The one who had gotten a boot to the ribs a minute ago was humming Happy Birthday again.

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She didn't have a stalker! She just had a friend who sometimes thought it was okay to follow her into Baltimore while wearing a disguise! Totally different!

...Dammit, Barry.

"I didn't mean that we were gonna team up right now," she promised Johnny. "I just meant--in general, you know? Not tonight specifically. I mean, inviting him along on a date would just be rude to everyone!"

And she was babbling again. Greeeat.

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"Well, if he wants to take his birthday blues out on anyone he can find, I guess that frees us up a little bit to focus more on the date than the hitting people," Johnny reasoned. "Thanks for that, buddy!"

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"Anytime," Gorgon grumbled, reaching up to pinch the bridge of his nose. "You two lovebirds go and have your special evening, or whatever it is you're planning tonight. I'll keep an eye on the crime out here."

He was already preparing himself to think of every criminal he found tonight as that guy. Sparky. It was his birthday and he'd be a bitter old cuss if he wanted to.

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"I--we're--it's not--"

Banzai was going to kick Gorgon so hard in the shins for that. "We're doing just fine dealing with crime on our own, thanks."

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"And we're happy to deal with it while still giving the birthday boy some room," Johnny offered. "It's a present."

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So help him, Gorgon was just smirking at them both now.

"Is it a date or isn't it, Banzai?" She had said it was one just a few moments ago, after all. "Nah, you know what, it's no business of mine. You two do whatever makes you both happy. I'll be here kicking this fuckwit until he stops singing at me."

He could just flash his goggles at the guy, but at this point, if buddy was singing just to piss him off, Nikolai was totally being goaded on.

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"It's a date," Banzai said, her hands over her hips. Nick was doing a fair job of goading himself. "A crimefighting date. So we can take care of ourselves and the crime on my beat. Thanks for asking."

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"If you have any other questions, you can e-mail us. HumanTorch.com, there's a convenient Contact form. We'll get back to you as soon as possible," Johnny joked.

About the getting back to him. The website was completely true.

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Ugh, teenagers. Gorgon rolled his eyes, not that anyone could see behind the goggles, and crouched down to resume zip-tying the last of the jerks he'd floored before these two clowns showed up.

"I'll save your public relations staff the trouble," he replied, pulling the zip-tie maybe a touch too tight. "And I'll stay off your beat, Banzai." He shot her a grin over his shoulder. "Good thing right now I'm working mine."

You come into HIS HOUSE...

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Banzai saluted. "Yessir, Mr. Gorgon sir," she said, totally not rolling her eyes or anything. "We'll leave with your new friends and your impromptu birthday party."

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