Barry's Old Warehouse, Warehouse District, Sunday Afternoon

[spin_kick_snap]

So. The island could turn her back into an ex at literally any moment. That was not a thought that was good for Kathy's peace of mind. Being an ex again, for however short a time, had not been good for Kathy's peace of mind. She hadn't been a mindless husk that had seen everything that moved as 'prey,' no, but that was cold comfort when she had spent the day eating brains.

Sharing brains with other people.

Hunting small creatures to get--

Her stomach lurched again, just thinking about it. She hadn't eat much this past week just for that reason. It felt like February all over again, when eating had been a struggle, the very act bringing up memories she didn't want to relive.

Distantly, Kathy knew she should go home, deal with the mess left in her room, deal with the mess that was her life. And she would! She just--couldn't yet. Not while she still felt like this, ten pounds of crazy in a four pound bag. She just needed to get a handle on it--was trying to get a handle on it--and when she did, she'd go home. She'd apologize for worrying everyone, she'd clean up, she'd be okay.

Soon. Just not now.

[Open]

Comments

[spin_kick_snap]

And, you know, having said friend offering you brains probably hadn't been great, either.

Kathy startled like a hair, bouncing so high she nearly cracked her head on the ceiling, whirling around with her hands raised--to to attack, but to ward off a blow.

"Raven," she said, a little weakly when she realized who had spoken. "I...yeah, it does, but I don't come with subzero insulation. And its getting chilly."

And she had run out of the house with nothing more substantial than thin cotton pjs and a tank top. Not exactly the best clothing to camping in with 40 degree weather.

[tigerundercover]

Raven checked the weather app on her phone. "Yeah, it's, like, 60 degrees out." She was reasonably certain that was normal people weather, but who knew? She tucked her phone away again. "So you have been avoiding people."

It was hard to tell for sure when you, too, were avoiding the world.

[spin_kick_snap]

"Not at night," Kathy pointed out. She hadn't been doing a whole lot of wandering back and forth. That was more activity--and more potential to run into people--than she was really looking for.

"I've been...thinking," she said. That was better than avoiding, right? Or freaking out? Having a breakdown?

[tigerundercover]

Hey, Raven was the last person to blame anyone for avoiding. "Thinking's good. About anything in particular?"

[spin_kick_snap]

"There's a lot of 'Oh god, I was a fucking ex again' on repeat," Kathy said with something approaching her old spirit.

It flickered and the collapsed again, leaving Kathy looking for tired and mousey than ever.

"I just..." How was she supposed to find words about what it was like waking up and remembering all that again?

[tigerundercover]

"That was pretty fucked up," Raven agreed. "Though -- you weren't quite the same again. Way less teeth gnashing."

Wasn't Kathy so glad this was her best friend?

[spin_kick_snap]

"Yeah," Kathy said, "I was actually a person." She grimaced, thinking about her argument that night with Dante. "Which means that everything I did was my actual choice."

Like hunting creatures and messily devouring them, for example. And offering their brains to her friends. "It was everything I hated about being an ex, but worse because I was actively participating in it. If I'd found someone who was still a human on the island that day..."

Of such things were nightmares made of. Literally.

[tigerundercover]

"I mean, brains were what you lived on," Raven pointed out. "Plus, you know, it was a Fandom thing. If we went around blaming ourselves for all the shit the island cooks up for us, we'd never do anything else." She flashed Kathy a toothy smile. "Besides, if it makes you feel better, I was contemplating eating irritating customers."

Really, it would probably have been harder to find someone who wouldn't eat people, last Tuesday.

[spin_kick_snap]

Kathy was pretty sure that Raven contemplated at least biting irritating customers on a fairly regular basis.

"Yeah, but--" Kathy groped for words. "If even just for a day, you woke up back there, in my world, with no knowledge you'd ever gotten out, wouldn't it fuck with you? And then knowing that it could drop you there whenever it wanted, without warning?"

[tigerundercover]

Fair.

Raven gave that the solemn moment it was due, then shrugged. “It probably could,” she said. “That might be part of why I spend so much time in the woods.” She worried, sometimes, that she was starting to depend on other people too much again. “I’m honestly not always sure all this isn’t a dream, anyway.”

[spin_kick_snap]

"If it were a dream, wouldn't everything be easier?" Kathy asked, sinking down to the couch, her head in her hands.

[tigerundercover]

“Have you MET dreams?” Raven asked. “If anything, this is all a little too nice.”

[spin_kick_snap]

Kathy's mouth twisted because...fair. "Too coherent. too."

She shook her head and asked, "So, why does this mean you should spend all that time out in the woods?"

[tigerundercover]

"Because wilderness survival skills are fundamental," Raven said. "Why does it mean you're hiding in your favorite old warehouse?"

[spin_kick_snap]

"Because every time I think about going back to the house, I remember there's a container of week-old brains sitting on my bed that I was eating and it makes me wanna throw up some more," Kathy said.

And because she had been all kinds of fucked up and honestly hadn't known where else to go. If she'd remembered to grab her keys before her panicked flight Wednesday morning, she might not even be on the island anymore.

[tigerundercover]

"So that's what that smell is." Sorry your bestie was a brat, Kathy. "You know you can ask someone to clean that up for you, right?"

[spin_kick_snap]

Kathy was staring at Raven in abject horror, missing both the question--and that it was all a joke--entirely.

[tigerundercover]

". . . Asking for help isn't that bad, is it?"

[spin_kick_snap]

"Does the whole house smell?" Kathy asked, frantically trying to remember whether or not she'd closed her bedroom door.

She had no clue. Her brain had been set to panic and nothing had really sunk in.

[tigerundercover]

"What?" Raven frowned. "No, of course not. If it did someone would have taken care of it already."

Honestly, it was entirely possible if it was open one of the cats had eaten the brains already anyway.

That probably wouldn't be reassuring, would it.

[spin_kick_snap]

Noooope. Kathy was pretty sure that Anders would forgive her for feeding him brains faster than he would letting the cats get into them.

"Just my room then? Okay. I can--I can handle that."

For a version of 'handle' that currently involved hiding out in a warehouse.

[tigerundercover]

"Nooo, one of the boys can handle it," Raven said. "What good is having two boyfriends if you can't make them deal with your messes when you meltdown a little?"

C'mon, Kathy, Raven was supposed to be the antisocial one in this relationship.

[spin_kick_snap]

She was! Kathy was only antisocial on special occasions!

"You've all been picking up after my meltdowns since I came back," Kathy pointed out quietly. "Seems rude to ask you all to do it again."

[tigerundercover]

"I'm pretty sure 'rude' has nothing to do with meltdowns," Raven said. "That's why they're called meltdowns."

[spin_kick_snap]

"But--but--" Raven had a point, which was why Kathy couldn't argue with it much beyond 'but it doesn't feel right.' And the problem with Kathy judging things by 'feelings' is that they were apt to be wrong. Or, at least, disordered.

For example, please see: current meltdown.

"You already have to deal with me having a meltdown," she said, finally figuring out how to put her protest into words. "Expecting you to do more just..."

Interferes with her self-flagellation?

[I'm so sorry, I never got this notif!]