33 Apocalypse Ave, Tuesday Afternoon

[spin_kick_snap]

It was October, even if the weather didn't match Tumblr's expectations of the month, and Kathy was getting into the spooky spirit. She'd decorated the living room with some window decals and a small stuffed bat for the cats to play with, there were a chocolate chip cookies baking in the oven and a bowl of ganache cooling on the counter for chocolate monster cookies, and two gallons of apple cider sat in the fridge, waiting to be mulled or spiked with cinnamon-flavored booze.

Now she was sprawled on the couch, playing through her repertoire of songs she'd learned on the guitar, and trying to figure out if she could learn to play Bad Moon Rising before it ceased being relevant. Hmm, maybe she should try to play something off of the Bad Seeds' Murder Ballads instead.

Comments

[tigerundercover]

"I'll have you know, I am in full control of my butt-wiggle," Raven said with great dignity.

In a chipmunk voice.

[spin_kick_snap]

Definitely added to the dignity--nay, the majesty--of Raven's argument.

"We should all only wish to be so in control of our manifest butt-wiggle," Kathy said with the appropriate solemnity.

[tigerundercover]

"So what have you been up to, oh mighty ant?" Raven asked, shifting back to her natural form. "If not preparing for the incipient winter?"

[spin_kick_snap]

"Appreciating the unseasonable warmth while making cookies," Kathy said promptly. "Because who doesn't wanna eat chocolate chip cookies slathered in ganache that look like little monster faces?"

[tigerundercover]

"I mean, I know I can't say no," Raven said, scooping up a stuffed bat. "And not a spiced pumpkin in sight."

[spin_kick_snap]

"I mean, if you're putting in a request, I can see what I can do to up the pumpkin spice levels in our household," Kathy assured her, being the best of friends and roommates.

[tigerundercover]

"I was being impressed," Raven said, tossing the bat at Kathy's forehead. "Not critical."

[spin_kick_snap]

Kathy caught the bat before it beaned her in the head and tossed it back. "Pumpkin spice belongs in pie," she declared. "Not coffee or candles or any of that nonsense. It's apple cider season, dammit."

This was a hill she was going to die on and be happy for it.

[tigerundercover]

"Aren't the spices for cider and pumpkin pie the same anyway?" Raven reasoned. "It's all just cinnamon and nutmeg and stuff."

[spin_kick_snap]

"Plus apples," Kathy said. "The apples are important. And also some cardamom and allspice and a hint of citrus to really bring out all the flavors. And maybe caramel if you're being really fancy."

But the cider. The cider was key!

[tigerundercover]

"The spices in that are totally the same as the spices in pumpkin spice," Raven said. "Might as well call all of it 'apple spice'."

Maybe she'd find the recipe for pumpkin apple bread. And rule the world.

[spin_kick_snap]

"If I was promised 'apple spice' flavoring and it didn't taste like apples, I would riot," Kathy declared. "Apples are the best thing about the East Coast."

California was known for its vineyards, not its orchards.

[tigerundercover]

"Are you actually admitting the East Coast does something well?"

[spin_kick_snap]

"One thing," Kathy allowed. Magnanimously. "And it only took--what? Three years? Four?--to find it!"

[tigerundercover]

"Well, you know, you've always been a little slow. . . ."

[spin_kick_snap]

"I gotta make sure you can keep up," Kathy said with a solemn nod. "Hate to leave you too far behind."

[tigerundercover]

Raven laughed. "I'm sorry, who's leaving who behind?"

[spin_kick_snap]

"Hey, you still think East Coast is best coast," Kathy said, tsking. "It's really sad."

[tigerundercover]

"Are you back on that whole 'it's true because it rhymes' thing? Because we've talked about this."

[spin_kick_snap]

"I will not stand for you taking away my most valuable debate tool," Kathy said, crossing her arms over her chest. "Rhyming is a very important component of veracity, everybody knows that."

[tigerundercover]

"It's very poetic," Raven agreed. "But it's full of lies."

[spin_kick_snap]

"That's it," Kathy declared as the timer on her phone went off. "No cookies for you. I hate to draw this kind of line, but nope!"

Surely Raven was quaking in fear now.

[tigerundercover]

"Bet I can steal them anyway," Raven said, not looking in the least bit like she was quaking in fear.

Amusement, possibly.

[spin_kick_snap]

Totally fear. Because who wasn't afraid of Kathy and her very believable threat of cookie denial?

"You know I'm faster than you," Kathy warned, moving the freshly-baked cookies from the sheet to a cooling rack.

[tigerundercover]

"But I can make my limbs really long!" Clearly that trumped being able to run at, like, 90 mph.