Apartment Above Lukes, Friday Afternoon

[spin_kick_snap]

Kathy was prepping for Pride over the weekend. Most of the merchandise she was planning for the booth had already been boxed up at the store, but she was folding pamphlets and making bracelets out of embroidery floss and beads that she'd picked up from Hobby Lobby when she'd taken a trip over there to discuss which store was going to hand out the birth control. The bracelets all corresponded with the various Pride flags; it was like an eighth grade craft project up in here.

But it was fun and relaxing and made for nice breaks between constant pamphlet folding while still letting her feel like she was being productive. Win/win.

Comments

[vdistinctive]

"Right, and you were totally forthcoming."

[spin_kick_snap]

"In fairness," Kathy said, raising a finger, "I was pretty fucked up."

Beat.

"Still am. Less than I was, I think, but still am."

[vdistinctive]

"Less is good," Eliot said. "Less is real good. Anything in particular botherin' you? Or is all the same giant lump of overwhelming?"

[spin_kick_snap]

"I still feel like I'm just treading water," Kathy said, setting her bracelet down entirely to clasp her arms around her knees. "I don't have a direction. I don't even know what direction I should pick. I was looking at pamphlets and stuff for local colleges but I'm not sure if I was doing that because I wanted to, or because I thought I should, or because it was a distraction from everything else."

[vdistinctive]

Eliot nodded. "That's hard for anyone to untangle. There a reason why you gotta figure it out right now?"

[spin_kick_snap]

"I feel like it'll...give me something to focus on that's not...dwelling," Kathy said, trying to put her nebulous feelings into words. "I was always going forward, before. Now I'm just...paused. Maybe if I had a forward trajectory to follow, I'd have a way to tell how I'm doing."

[vdistinctive]

Eliot nodded. "There's value in learnin' how to just be," he said. "But there's nothin' wrong with setting yourself goals. How much into the future do you think you wanna be looking?"

[spin_kick_snap]

"I don't know," Kathy admitted. "I kind of get panicky thinking more than a week or so in the future. Anders and I are supposed to go on vacation, but we keep not scheduling it because scheduling means planning means I freak out."

[vdistinctive]

"Puts kind of a damper on picking a direction," Eliot said. "Alright. It's Friday. How about picking something you want to get done by next Friday?"

[spin_kick_snap]

"O-Okay," Kathy said, trying to think about something.

The only thing coming to mind was a favor she wanted to ask of Eliot, though. "So, umm, sorta related, but it's not something I can get done by next Friday," she said. "But an ongoing thing? Would you teach me how to play guitar?"

[vdistinctive]

Eliot nodded. "Sure, no problem. I never taught to anyone before, so you'll have to bear with me." He smiled as a thought occurred to him. "How 'bout we do the first lesson next Friday, if you're available? Then each week, we can decide when to do the next one when we meet up. No plannin' in too far in advance, but still somethin' to look forward to."

[spin_kick_snap]

"I'd like that," Kathy said with a happy smile. "I've noticed that learning things makes it easier. I have something I can focus on and direct all my thoughts towards so they don't scatter and turn ugly."

[vdistinctive]

"Maybe you should look into the community center classes, if we've got any in the fall. Learnin' doesn't have to be directed towards a degree. Might be good right now to just try a bunch of stuff casually, see what really hooks you."

Something else occurred to him.

"Do you have a guitar?"

[spin_kick_snap]

"Not yet," Kathy said, shaking her head. "Getting one seemed like I was committed to it. "

And there was still that whole 'needing to talk to Dante about it' because she was still a little weird about things. More hesitant and worried and afraid.

"I'll probably go and get one some time this week, then, if we're gonna meet on Friday?"

[vdistinctive]

Eliot smiled. "Would you look at that, two goals for the week."

[spin_kick_snap]

Kathy picked up another sandwich--her fourth of the afternoon. Looked like her appetite was picking up again, too.

"Not gonna lie, I feel a little bit twitchy about it."

[vdistinctive]

"The trick will be workin' past that and doin' things anyway."

[spin_kick_snap]

"It was easier before I knew just how much there was to be afraid of," Kathy muttered into her sandwich.

[vdistinctive]

"Just means you're gonna be smarter going about it," Eliot said. "I'm sure you know by now that bein' brave ain't about not being afraid."

[spin_kick_snap]

"No, but sometimes I'm pretty sure it's about being stupid," Kathy said ruefully. "I went patrolling for demons the other day, did I mention that?"

[vdistinctive]

Eliot frowned slightly. "No. Did you find any?"

[spin_kick_snap]

"Yeah," Kathy said. "They're rife in Limbo City."

Beat.

"I wasn't alone."

[vdistinctive]

"Limbo City's where Dante's from, right?" Eliot wondered if he was reading a defensiveness into her tone. "How'd it go?"

She didn't seem injured -- and clearly wasn't dead -- so he was willing to bet they'd won.

[spin_kick_snap]

That was one of the many emotions in the cocktail that was Kathy right now. Defensiveness at her choice to go patrolling. Ruefulness. Anger. A smidgen of pride. Worry he'd disapprove. Frustration that anyone got to.

It was complicated.

"Yeah," Kathy said. "The place with the cops." She figured he'd remember the time she walked into Luke's and burst into tears. "Well, not so many cops anymore. A lot of them were working for Mundus, the Demon King."

She took a bite of her sandwich, teeth snapping shut over the bread and pears. "It went...well?" she said, chewing quickly. "I killed a few things while Dante hung back and watched."

[vdistinctive]

Eliot nodded. "Good." Like he was going to judge anyone for killing things. "Sounds like it was a decent time."