Gorgon was having a shitty night. He'd briefly chewed on the idea of leaving his phone at home, given just how many times his siblings and his mother had called today. He'd also chewed on the prospect of just staying in, getting smashed, and watching old Western movies until he passed out on his couch, but that didn't seem like as good a way of celebrating his birthday as, say, getting kicked up a few tiers taking down a drug deal or a mugging or something, and then just ripping up the rooftops for a few hours for the hell of it.
What had happened instead, of course, wasn't anything so smooth. No. He'd gotten as far as zip-tying half of a group of thugs that had been working on breaking into one of those hole-in-the-wall instant money joints from the back door before his phone started to vibrate in his pocket.
He ignored that and tied another asshole's hands behind his back.
The phone continued to buzz.
The criminals all exchanged looks between them. A few looked as though they were actively struggling not to laugh when one piped up and asked, "Hey. You need to answer that?"
"Very funny. No. Now shut up and hold still, or I'll flash the goggles at you again, asshole."
"I'm just saying," the guy tried to crane his neck so that he could look at the buzzing duster pocket, "they've been calling a lot. You think it could be important?"
"It's my birthday," Gorgon growled. "Now turn around and keep quiet."
"If we wish you happy birthday, man, will you untie us?"
"If you keep talking, I'll rearrange you so you've all got your faces in between each other's legs, and I'll stick these road flares down your fucking pants when I light them."
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branchandroot
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Date: 2014-08-31 02:53 am (UTC)What had happened instead, of course, wasn't anything so smooth. No. He'd gotten as far as zip-tying half of a group of thugs that had been working on breaking into one of those hole-in-the-wall instant money joints from the back door before his phone started to vibrate in his pocket.
He ignored that and tied another asshole's hands behind his back.
The phone continued to buzz.
The criminals all exchanged looks between them. A few looked as though they were actively struggling not to laugh when one piped up and asked, "Hey. You need to answer that?"
"Very funny. No. Now shut up and hold still, or I'll flash the goggles at you again, asshole."
"I'm just saying," the guy tried to crane his neck so that he could look at the buzzing duster pocket, "they've been calling a lot. You think it could be important?"
"It's my birthday," Gorgon growled. "Now turn around and keep quiet."
"If we wish you happy birthday, man, will you untie us?"
"If you keep talking, I'll rearrange you so you've all got your faces in between each other's legs, and I'll stick these road flares down your fucking pants when I light them."
Yeah. Tonight's outing was going great.