Baltimore, Saturday Night

[spin_kick_snap]

Kathy--err, well, Banzai now, she was in costume--still wasn't quite sure how this had happened. She was on a date, with a guy that she'd talked to exactly once, and while their date had begun with the traditional nice dinner in town, their main activity was definitely not going to be found in any traditional dating guide.

Well, that might not be entirely true. If Fandom ever published a dating guide, superheroing in Baltimore would probably rate pretty highly on the 'things to do with your date' list.

"So, this is pretty much the start of my beat," she explained, tightening her mask. "I like to start up here. It's the tallest building in the area and--I don't have to explain why I like the high ground to you, right." The guy who could fly around likely understood why she liked starting off high up, yes. "I'd ask if you had any questions before we started, but I'm pretty sure you've been doing this for longer than I have. Ready?"

[NFB for Baltimore, but open to anyone likely to be wandering around Baltimore. Come crash the date! It's a new Fandom tradition (h/t notaweenie)]

Comments

[gunslingerpose]

One of the tied-up guys started humming 'Happy Birthday' under his breath. Gorgon gave him a swift kick to the ribs, in the same motion turning up to nod a hello to Banz--

... To Banzai and the flying guy on fire, there.

"I can't help it if the rest of you are slacking off," he pointed out. "I'm out here working my ass off--"

"On his birt-" Nikolai turned a look downward and flashed his goggles at the jerk with the big mouth. The guy went shock-still for a moment, mouth hanging open and eyes wide, before the goggles snapped shut again and the guy slumped forward.

"-- out here working my ass off, and you're playing on rooftops with...?"

He waved a hand at the human fireball.

"Sparky?"

[spin_kick_snap]

The baton end went sailing through the air and socked the third guy in the back, right between the shoulderblades. Overbalanced, he fell forward, his jaw clacking hard against the linoleum floor. Banzai winced. That hadn't sounded pleasant.

"Warned you," she sighed. The first one she'd knocked down was pushing himself to his feet and Banzai didn't hesitate to plant her foot in his bottom to push him right back down again. "Sorry," she said, producing a bag of zipties. "You're not going anywhere. Hey, Torch! You wanna bring that guy back in here?"

[ultimatehottie.livejournal.com]

Johnny grabbed the guy by his shirt collar and dragged him to his feet, leading him back to Kathy. "You see, this is kind of a date," Johnny told the guy. "She said she didn't want flowers, she wanted be to bring her some criminals. Personally, that's my kind of girl. But I doubt you agree."

[ultimatehottie.livejournal.com]

"Way off. Human Torch. World famous in my world for saving that very same world a few times," Johnny said. "Nice to meet you."

He gave a light salute as he flew over.

[spin_kick_snap]

"Right!" Banzai was blushing for no good reason that she could figure out. "See? Not slacking. I figured Torch might want a tour of the city, now that he's in the area. We've been patrolling. We stopped a robbery in progress and a few other things. We just didn't realize that the party was over here."

"Birthday party," one of the zip-tied guys mumbled. His conscious buddies snickered.

"Is it really your birthday?"

[ultimatehottie.livejournal.com]

"We can sing if it is," Johnny offered.

[spin_kick_snap]

"Why are you telling him that?" Banzai yelped. "He--I'm sure he doesn't care."

"Actually," the guys said, "it's kinda cute in a real pain in the ass kind of way. You two a thing?"

"We're on a date," Banzai informed him sternly, yanking the ziptie a little harder than she had to while binding his wrist to a shelf that was bolted into the wall. "We're hardly an item. Just...just...just a date."

"Aww yeah," the guy said, giving a chin nod to Johnny. "Playing the field? There are enough of you types to do that?"

[gunslingerpose]

"First person to start singing-" Gorgon's pocket buzzed. Nikolai shoved his hand into it to try to stifle his phone. Again. "-gets to spend the rest of the night drooling on the sidewalk."

He apparently didn't handle birthdays well.

"How're you finding the city so far, Mister World-Famous?"

Gorgon was also not particularly the sort to get starstruck easily. Even if he had any clue who the Human Torch was.

[ultimatehottie.livejournal.com]

That's why Johnny was sure to mention his fame; so Gorgon would know that he should either be starstruck or start hating. Either way, Johnny was used to it.

"No giant monsters here. It has that on New York," Johnny said. "And I really can't complain about the company."

[spin_kick_snap]

"I'm not sure how to take that," Banzai said with a nervous laugh. "Considering you enjoy spending your time taking down the criminal element. I've had fun, but I don't know if I wanna be classed in with them."

[ultimatehottie.livejournal.com]

"Well, it's not just a date. For these chuckleheads, it's also the night they got their butts kicked by a couple of people who weren't even one hundred percent focused on that butt kicking," Johnny said, dropping his guy in front of Banzai to get the wrist-tie treatment. "(I'll go get the guy I tackled, too.) Remember that, fellas. Tonight's also about you and how much you completely suck at this."

[gunslingerpose]

"Ah." Gorgon looked up at the Torch, and then back to Banzai. And then back and forth one more time before smirking faintly. "Is this more of a date than a superhero team-up? I'm not crashing it somehow, am I?"

It was a fine, fine line between stifled annoyance and sadistic glee. Nikolai was straddling that line right then, as his phone continued to buzz. He was going to throw the damn thing in a minute, at this rate.

[ultimatehottie.livejournal.com]

"It's a social activity involving the beating up of jerks," Johnny said easily. He wasn't sure who exactly this Gorgon guy was, so he was going to give fewer specifics than he gave to the criminal. "But the social part was the real draw."

[spin_kick_snap]

"He's right you know," Banzai said, sounding almost apologetic. "You're clearly amateurs at this. But that probably means you have time to turn things around."

She tilted her head; sirens in the distance. They only had a few more minutes here before they had to go, too. Vigilantism was still illegal, after all.

"Look, the people who own this place are really nice. They barely make enough to get by week to week and they still donate to all sorts of neighborhood causes and give food away to a couple of homeless guys. If you have to rob stores, leave people like them alone. The payout isn't worth the risk and you hurt them a lot more than is really necessary."

A few more poses and that could be a magical girl speech there, Banzai.

[spin_kick_snap]

"Not everyone is so against having partners as you are," Banzai said with false sweetness, giving Gorgon a tight-lipped smile.

[gunslingerpose]

Gorgon snorted at that.

"You mouth off somebody for knocking you flat on your ass just one time..."

He'd been standing and minding his own business at the time! If he'd been down a few tiers, she could've hurt him pretty good.

[ultimatehottie.livejournal.com]

"Also, don't rob any stores," Johnny said as he dragged the last guy over. "Or next time, I'll st more than just this one guy's pants on fire, and then you'll all look silly going to jail."

[spin_kick_snap]

"Agreed," Banzai said. "I mean, we're still going to stop you, regardless of who you rob. But the caliber of your victims still says a lot about the kind of criminal you are. Our jokes are going to be snarkier if we catch you robbing nice old mom and pop stores. But it really would be better if you stayed on the right side of the law from now on. Eventually, he's going to get impatient and start singeing more than fabric, if you catch my drift."

All four secured, she looked up at Johnny. "Sirens are closer. I'm thinking that's our cue?"

[spin_kick_snap]

"You looked like a jumper," Banzai said crossly, folding her arms. "I thought a few bruises were a small price to pay for saving your life. Wouldn't you agree, Torch?"

Back her up, Johnny! It's like...date code or something!

[ultimatehottie.livejournal.com]

"Absolutely," Johnny said. He had no idea what they were talking about, but when given the choice to side with a cute girl he wanted to make out with and some guy, the choice was clear. "It's easier if you just embrace teamwork."

[ultimatehottie.livejournal.com]

"Flame on," Johnny said. This time his hands and forearms weren't flaming. "If you'd like a lift back to the roofs, give me your hands."

[gunslingerpose]

"Don't suppose teaming up with her friendly stalker friend to talk about getting her into some proper protective gear doesn't count, then?"

Sorry, Barry. 'Friendly stalker friend' was about the extent of what Nikolai knew about you.

[spin_kick_snap]

"He's not a friendly stalker friend!" Banzai argued. And then, had to pause and concede, "Okay, so he does sometimes have boundary issues...but that's not the point!"

Dammit, Barry. This was all your fault somehow.

"The point is, it wouldn't kill you to be a little friendlier, Gorgon. Then you wouldn't have to spend your birthday patrolling alone."

"She's got a point," one of the guys on the ground said. "You wanna loosen these ties a bit, maybe we could--"

"I wasn't talking about you!" And now Banzai was facepalming.

[spin_kick_snap]

"You have really excellent control over that!" Banzai exclaimed, momentarily distracted from imminent arrest to marvel. "That's really cool..."

Oh. Right. Sirens.

"I mean, yes please!" She grabbed his forearms, clamping them tightly. "Up, up and away?"

[ultimatehottie.livejournal.com]

"For the record, I'd prefer to keep this as a two-person team-up tonight, unless we get to sing happy birthday to him," Johnny said. The costuming part of the conversation was kind of beyond him. That seemed like a running argument. Same for the stalker. Those could be discussed later if necessary.