"Patterns that go on for infinity, the same thing over and over again," Kathy explained. "Recursive. From the same root as fractured."
Broken.
Yeah.
Moving on.
"Okay, so...let's take my Choose Your Own Adventure thing from before," she said. "I choose to go forward and there you and Anders are, having a picnic. Now I have to choose--do I go back the way I came so I don't interrupt? Do I join you? But then, on top of my options, I start thinking about the two of you. If I join you, how might you react? What will you think if you catch me turning around instead? Okay, what if I stand there, hesitating between my options? What message is that sending? Does it seem like I'm angling for an invitation? Does that come across as passive-aggressive?" With each possibility, she spoke faster and faster. "How will you respond to my perceived passive-aggressiveness? If it reads as uncertainty, how will that be perceived? Do you know why I am hesitant? Do I know why I'm hesitant? How would each reason for my hesitation come across to you?"
Kathy stopped abruptly, breathing hard. She was not doing a great job of making herself sound sane. Or even stable. "Even right now, I'm talking to you and I'm, like, running equations or something trying to figure out how this is going to affect how you see me," she added, voice slow and quiet again as she looked down at her hands.
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branchandroot
(no subject)
Date: 2017-11-14 10:12 pm (UTC)Broken.
Yeah.
Moving on.
"Okay, so...let's take my Choose Your Own Adventure thing from before," she said. "I choose to go forward and there you and Anders are, having a picnic. Now I have to choose--do I go back the way I came so I don't interrupt? Do I join you? But then, on top of my options, I start thinking about the two of you. If I join you, how might you react? What will you think if you catch me turning around instead? Okay, what if I stand there, hesitating between my options? What message is that sending? Does it seem like I'm angling for an invitation? Does that come across as passive-aggressive?" With each possibility, she spoke faster and faster. "How will you respond to my perceived passive-aggressiveness? If it reads as uncertainty, how will that be perceived? Do you know why I am hesitant? Do I know why I'm hesitant? How would each reason for my hesitation come across to you?"
Kathy stopped abruptly, breathing hard. She was not doing a great job of making herself sound sane. Or even stable. "Even right now, I'm talking to you and I'm, like, running equations or something trying to figure out how this is going to affect how you see me," she added, voice slow and quiet again as she looked down at her hands.