Kathy seesawed her hand. "Kind of? More like..." She went quiet, trying to put together a coherent sentence so she didn't meander through like earlier. "Whatever they were going through, it was part of living. Part of life. The ups and downs, the joys and sorrows. I didn't really feel like I had that. That I was living. It's why I joined that fighting group. To remind me that even if I wasn't exactly living, at least I was alive."