"I...I talked with a therapist once," Kathy said. "Right after I got back. Stopped going when I realized I wouldn't be able to explain some of the major shit that was wrong with me."

She went quiet again for a second, her silhouette slumped.

"She said that self-blame was an attempt to gain control over a situation where you have no control. That every time I apologize, that I point out that it's my fault for something, I'm just trying not to feel so helpless. Cause I do. A lot. Here, anyway."