spin_kick_snap | Baltimore, Sunday Night

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Baltimore, Sunday Night

Banzai rarely patrolled Sunday nights, taking the night off to rest and prepare for the upcoming week, but since she'd bailed on patrolling on Friday, it seemed only fair to make up for it tonight instead. Crime around the club and various campuses would be lower, but there were still plenty of drug deals, muggings, and various other, more dangerous crimes for her to stop instead. And it wasn't like Banzai was going to miss spending extra time manhandling drunk idiots into cabs and breaking up fights in alleys over stupid bullshit the participants couldn't even remember four steps away from the club itself.

The Ukranian mafia had all but vanished from the city over the past few months; apparently losing the Butcher was enough to convince them that Baltimore wasn't worth the effort. In a way, Banzai almost missed them; they were good practice for when she'd be going up against the Seventeens in LA eventually. Patrolling around Stanford (if she got in, please God let her get in) probably wasn't going to be all that much effort, so she was already making plans to portal down to LA proper at least once a month to get in a proper patrol.

Spotting Jewels, one of the working girls that was part of Banzai's loose confederation of informants, Banzai swung down from the rooftop to land on light feet nearby. Always good to check in, see if Jewels had heard of anything going down, make sure that no one was bothering her, pass along money and supplies to stay in Jewels' good graces, all that good stuff.

It felt good to get out and patrol. For all her speeches about wanting to do good for the people around her and make the world a better place, Banzai had to admit that the real reason she ran around in rainbows with a bokken on her back and rope darts in her belt was a lot more selfish. What could she say?

She loved this.

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It was her food he was eating! And toilets were gross!

"This one has things to do," Kathy retorted, polishing off her first burger in a few neat, precise bites. "Responsibilities."

Which was why Dante had specified 'somebody fun', Kathy, keep up.

"I don't have any plans after work," the guy said. "And it's pretty slow tonight, so I might even be able to get off a little early. You two are the biggest ticket we've had all night."

"You're welcome," Dante said, grinning. "We're gonna pack this away and then I'll catch you later, yeah?"

See, he hadn't even needed to use the smirk.

He might throw it in later for funsies, but he didn't need it.

Who said anything about need? Kathy just appreciated it!

"Yeah," their server said, grinning. "Yeah, that sounds really--yeah." He eventually realized he was just standing there and shook himself. "Let me go get you your drinks."

After he was gone, Kathy said, "You need to do some very dirty things to that boy. He's adorable."

Dante let out a soft snicker. "Oh, I've got that one in hand," he said, settling back with his bottle again. "Trust me."

"I will always trust you to do dirty things to adorable people," Kathy promised. "I just wanted you to know that I'm rooting for you."

The bartender came over with more beer and a pair of shots on the tray. "On the house," she said, setting the shots down in front of them. "Looks like y'all made a friend."

"Awww, we need to thank--we don't even know his name," Kathy said once the bartender had returned to her post.

"How about you thank him next time he shows up, and I'll thank him later?"

Dante put his empty bottle on the table, but he didn't snag the other one immediately. He had to go shove a burger into his mouth, first.

"I bet he appreciates your thank you more," Kathy said, chuckling as she finished her plate of potato skins. She stacked it on top of the other empty dishes on the side of the table. No reason to make whatshisface work harder than he had to. "And ditto the difference in tips we offer."

Rimshot.

"Hey, now," Dante said, slamming back a shot. "I offer a whole lot more than just the tip."

"I should hope so," Kathy said. "Don't let him complain about getting shafted."

Because that was exactly what this conversation needed. Drunk sex puns.

"I promise I won't be a dickhead," Dante said, snagging his second burger.

"Just don't be an asshole," Kathy said, waving a fry at him. "Unless that's the kind of guy he's looking for."

Dante snickered loudly. "Okay, I can't top that," he said, and somehow managed to keep his face straight.

... heh.

"Good, cause I was bottoming out on puns," Kathy said, looking as innocent as she possibly could.

This was why their friendship worked.

Dante reached over and stole a fry, popping it into his mouth. "So what'd you handle tonight, besides killing puns?"

"Jewels is worried that two of the pimps in the neighborhood are going to escalate their beef up to actual turf infighting," Kathy said. "That's something for me to keep an eye on. There were some kids stealing cars that I stopped, as well as a couple of drug deals and four fights. Then I ran down about five different purse snatchers and some guy who knocked over a liquor store. So, slow night. Mostly, though, I just patrolled."

She wasn't being sarcastic.

Some kids stealing cars, huh? Good thing Kathy had passed up on their night last week. Cough.

"You call that a slow night?" Dante asked, eying her.

She had a rule about Fandom people! Which was mostly just, 'leave them alone unless they really need to be interfered with.' It was just easier that way.

Even if less likely to get her fucked against a wall in an alley again. Mmmm, good times.

"No major felonies," Kathy said. "And nothing all that dangerous. On a Friday or Saturday night alone, the brawls I break up next to bars can hit double digits. And do you know how many purse snatchers operate in this area of Baltimore alone? There are some I recognize on sight now."

Several had just started turning and walking away when they spotted rainbows on a rooftop. That feeling was almost as good as sex.

"Look at you, fucking with people trying to make a living," Dante sighed, taking a sip of his beer.

Nah, he wasn't really judging.

"There are better options," Kathy said serenely. "They're just fucking with other people who are also trying to make a living."

Generally, Kathy left the pickpockets alone. But purse snatchers and muggers got chased.

"Usually not fucking around for the fun of it."

Usually. What Isabela and Ada had gotten up to the other night was maybe another thing.

"There are still other ways," Kathy said. "You'll notice I don't interfere with the working ladies or their customers." Unless someone was getting handsy and not in a pre-arranged kind of way. "And I don't get the police involved for most people I take down."

"Nah, you just punch 'em and take their lunch money," Dante said. He took a thoughtful sip of his drink.

"I return their lunch money to the people they took it from," Kathy said. "Gorgon's the one who'd just take their cash for himself after he was done reading them their rights."

By which she meant, quoting Battle Group and scaring the pants off them.

"But then, he always went for the dealers more than the regular pickpockets and the like."

"How's that any better than the actual pickpockets?" Dante asked. "Shitty heroing."

"Gorgon's more focused on convincing criminals to stop what their doing, rather than returning goods to civilians," Kathy said. "So he robs them, threatens them, and scares them within an inch of their life so the next time they think about doing something illegal, they'll have a damn good reason not to."

Gorgon preferred to substitute the distant 'fear of God' with the much more direct and personal 'fear of him.'

"He's been pretty successful, I've seen the numbers for his patrols. Crime's dropping. Me, I stop the immediate crime, but I don't often give a lot of incentive not to do it again. People could argue he's a better hero than I am."

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